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I don't know about NYC specifically, but you can find lemon verbena where herb plants are sold.
This recipe is SO good--once I had the verbena I used it over and over.
iam latina, and we used verbena to make teas, it nver occur to me to use as a vinaigrette!
Have not been living in NYC for a bit so can't suggest where to find it, Citarella might be a place to check or Union Sq greenmarket. It is probably worth pointing out that generally it only takes 7 requests for a product at a grocery store to have them stock a new product. So it might be worth your while to request from the fruit and veg manager in your local store to see if they can find it. I have seen it sold like basil etc. Good luck!