The Pear-Devil

Author Notes

So today is my birthday. And I have been at work since 11 p.m. last night and will be going back into work at 10 p.m. this evening. Ppppsssssbbbbbtttttt! That is my giant raspberry at having to work such inhuman hours. Thus (oh yes, I used the word 'thus'), because I am over-caffeinated from attempting to keep my eyeballs open between the wicked hours of 3 a.m. to 7 a.m. when the sucking sweet siren song of sleep drives me to endless bottles of five hour energy drinks and sugar free redbulls, rendering me helpless in the face of run-on sentences and incapable of sleep....I give you The Pear-Devil. My delightful (and slightly incoherent) experiment in concocting a drink that will take the place of the green butterfly commercials I see on the television in which all those beautiful people are drifting off to effortless and blissful sleep, easily overcoming the natural circadian rhythm of a morning person from Vermont (a place in which sleeping during the daytime is viewed as the ultimate expression of sloth).

.....6 groggy hours later.....Looking over the spasmodic prose I created during my sleep-deprived mania and, laughing so uproariously I had to call my mom and share my insanity, I decided not to 'edit' one word of what I had written earlier. Needless to say, I was quite out of my gourd with sleep-deprivation when I penned the previous paragraph. I should mention now, however, being somewhat more rested and lucid, that I am in no way advocating the use of this (or any) alcoholic beverage to help you sleep. Although I did have to try several versions before I found one that worked for me! Was it my fault that the experimentation made me somewhat tired? I was simply noodling around the kitchen trying to keep busy until the above mentioned caffeine wore off and sleep became possible. I had already unloaded the dishwasher and cleaned up after the hurricaine (one husband and two small boys) that had blown through the house that morning and came up with this concoction. And, in my defense, it was my happy hour even if it was at 11:30 a.m. Drinking before noon: another act viewed as borderline heresy in my home state. Cheers! —Niknud