Table for One
10 Very Important Reasons Why I Love Living Alone
And why I'll never go back to having roommates again.
Table for One is a column by Senior Editor Eric Kim, who loves cooking for himself—and only himself—and seeks to celebrate the beauty of solitude in its many forms.
Four score and seven years ago, I had a roommate. He was terribly inconsiderate and somehow got peanut butter on everything in our apartment: the toilet seat, the front door knob, the kitchen sink. He was perfectly nice otherwise, but as an introvert I was irked by every little thing he did. His greatest crime was, probably, that he existed. (And the peanut butter.)
Needless to say, I had to move out.
Eventually I found a tiny place near my work in Morningside Heights. The 250–square foot shoebox studio would be my bachelor pad for the next four years; I was in love with it because it was mine. I filled it with books and kitchen supplies, and a desk—which would become my writer's sanctuary, the place where I escaped to meditate and create.
Living alone all these years, I've learned so much about myself—that I hate doing the dishes but love making my bed, and that I 100% always prefer a desk to a couch when it comes to furniture. But the most important thing I've learned from living alone is how to be happy—truly, perfectly content—on my own.
After years of weighing the options between dwelling with others and dwelling by myself, I've decided full-stop that the latter is a thousand times better. Here's why:
1. Having my own space to come home to makes me feel safer in the world.
It's a source of necessary comfort knowing that, as much as I enjoy going out with friends or spending time with others, I can always be alone again by heading home and recharging my introvert batteries. It's to my—and everyone's—benefit that I have this time to myself, so I can come out again and be a productive, social person in the world.
2. I'm not on anyone's schedule but my own.
There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. I've always felt that my being lonely has nothing to do with who's around me. Which is why I often opt for solitude and run the risk of sealing myself off for days on end—especially after difficult weeks, or when it's rainy outside and I just want to cuddle in bed with my dog. But I don't apologize for any of this. I can take the time I need and go out for a drink or a quiet dinner when I'm ready and no sooner.
3. I spend more on rent, but less on food.
Because I stay in and cook a lot more, I find that my budget comes out to about the same as when I had roommates and paid less on rent every month. But for me, any extra money I spend to have my own sanctuary is worth every penny. Plus, cooking in my own kitchen with my own things has made me want to cook in the first place, versus stumbling through a shared kitchen with assorted (and often dirty) pots and pans.
4. I experiment more in the kitchen.
Living alone means discovering strange (but delicious!) combinations I never would have tried were people watching. And it's in this kind of daily eating—that is, without any shame or remorse—that I'm truly able to relish the day-to-day tinkerings about in my kitchen, fridge, and cupboard. For instance, I almost always put sour cream on whatever I'm eating. I stir it into risotto to loosen it up, I slather it on eggs, I even dip French fries into it. If any of that seems weird, I'm not ashamed—sour cream makes everything taste better.
5. The sink is my happy place.
The one thing I hate doing most is the dishes. I despise it. Luckily, because I live alone, I can leave my dirty dishes for as long as I want—and even find myself eating over the sink when I'm pressed for time! The crumbs end up there (and not on the ground), and there's a certain empowering frivolousness that comes from licking food off my fingers.
6. Only I can hold myself to a regular cleaning schedule.
My apartment is one tiny room. The kitchen is on one side, my bed is right next to the fridge, and my bookshelf and desk are a stone's throw away from both of those. Which means I have to clean—once a week, usually on Sunday—or else I'll wake up on Monday unable to find my socks or boil an egg.
7. And I can put off laundry for a solid month.
When you live alone, there's no one there to make you do your laundry. Which is great, but also terrible. Sometimes my hamper gets so heavy and scary that I ignore it for a good month or two. Eventually I wash my clothes, but it's nice to not have to do it when I'm too tired or don't feel like it, and to make that decision myself.
8. Quality ingredients are really worth it.
Filet mignon, scallops, shrimp, avocados—these are all significantly more affordable when bought small-scale, which means cooking fancy dinners for yourself is encouraged when living alone—and an easy way to treat yourself.
9. I appreciate other people more.
As much as I love lying in bed with a chocolate lava cake, being without people for an extended period of time is the one thing that makes me appreciate the moment I'm with them again.
10. My peanut butter ends up in cookies and nowhere else.
Much to my dog's chagrin.
| 2 | tablespoons peanut butter, preferably natural |
| 2 | tablespoons heaping, quick-cooking or instant oats |
| 1 | teaspoon confectioners’ sugar |
| 1/4 | teaspoon pure vanilla extract |
| 1 | tablespoon semisweet chocolate chips |
| 1 | pinch flaky sea salt, for garnish (optional) |
| 2 | tablespoons peanut butter, preferably natural |
| 2 | tablespoons heaping, quick-cooking or instant oats |
| 1 | teaspoon confectioners’ sugar |
| 1/4 | teaspoon pure vanilla extract |
| 1 | tablespoon semisweet chocolate chips |
| 1 | pinch flaky sea salt, for garnish (optional) |
Do you live alone? What do you love most about it? Let us know in the comments below.
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Written by: Eric Kim
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115 Comments
I am Canadian, we are lucky, we pay taxes but we get a little bit back of that money! But, this situation is scary and food is a great way to calm down.... Anyone agreeing with me? 😉
Great article Eric, I really enjoy your writings.
All credibility lost with the first words
This will be changing soon... but I need to choose my words carefully, kindly and gently. It's not her fault that I am who I am.
I love living by myself, everything is where I left it, the mess doesn't get too out of control, yes my family nags me but I just don't "hear" the phone ring when I don't feel like listening to them. Life is good.
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