A Dozen Eggs

Directions

1. Look at these perfect hard cooked eggs. This was my second batch. I burnt the first batch. Recipe: Place eggs in a pot you don’t really love that much just in case you BURN IT TO HELL. Cover eggs with water. Bring to boil. DO NOT GO DO SOMETHING ELSE LIKE, I don’t know, call your mom or do the laundry or go to the post office. I’m not sure all of that actually happened, but today is a blur, so it’s possible. Take off the heat immediately and set a 13 minute timer. When the timer dings or chirps or whatever the fuck your timer does, rinse the eggs in cold water. Let them sit in the cold water for like 5 minutes. The yolks will be perfectly set, and you will not have to curse out yourself, the whole world, and the stupid ass President. Bon appétit!