The Least Kosher Short Ribs You'll Ever Eat

Directions

1. Very roughly chop onion, celery, onion, and parsley, then process to a fine paste in food processor (or by hand, if you like that kind of thing).
2. Preheat oven to 275 F.
3. Brown short ribs over medium-high heat in a skillet, (large enough to accomodate 2 quarts, or a large, flat-bottomed pot) in multiple batches if necessary so as not to crowd the pan .
4. Remove ribs to a bowl individually once browned. When all ribs are browned add pureed mixture from Step 1 and butter to the pan. Cook until onions start to caramelize and all liquid is evaporated.
5. Add vermouth to pan and cook until fully evaporated.
6. Add ribs (and any juices from bowl), milk, nutmeg, clove, bay leaf, salt, and pepper to pan and return to simmer.
7. Place in oven (uncovered) for 3 hours or until ribs are completely tender.
8. Separate ribs from liquid and refrigerate overnight then remove solidified fat from top. Or, if in a hurry, remove fat from liquid while warm.
9. For serving, preheat oven to 350 F. I prefer removing the bones from ribs at this point, but go with what you think is the best presentation. Place ribs on baking tray and cook for 15 minutes. Meanwhile, reheat liquids on stovetop. If milk curdling is unpleasantly chunky, blend with a hand blender.
10. Serve over pureed turnips, pasta,polenta, or simply toasted bread.