Any ideas for a sub-par watermelon?

Grill it!

Make spa water. Cut/slice the watermelon, add to a large pitcher of water and ice or just water and put into fridge. You would be making Hint water at a fraction of the price. If you're feeling wild, a some fresh mint or sweet basil. You would be surprised at how quickly you'll go through this spa water.

The problem is that some recipes suggested that feature watermelon will be just as bland and disappointing as its star ingredient. Then you've wasted even more food (or booze!), and TIME, and for what? It's like Jerry Seinfeld said in one episode--"Fruit is a gamble. I know that going in." Either chuck it with a sigh or compost it. Why incur more waste?

There was a recipe in Vivian Howard's book 'Deep Run Roots' (we tried it as part of the cookbook club earlier this year) for a curried watermelon pork chop that was really interesting. It gets braised and comes out remarkably substantial for something I consider as mostly water.

I don't suppose you have any live chickens handy? They love melon. Also if you happen to have a dog that does not like to drink if he is away from home you can offer them chilled or even frozen watermelon which they will often consume. Helps to keep a dog hydrated if it is out all day at a canine sporting event for instance.

Agua fresca?

Or pickle it.

Partly depends on how "sub par" it is.
If just bland, the ideas here will help use it up in a tasty way.
If bitter, as sometimes is the case, not much will help and it would be throwing good ingredients away to add them to the bitter melon.

We just got back from Costa Rica. Every day we were served a watermelon blended with ice - so refreshing. If you asked they would throw in any other compatible fruits. All of these other ideas would be great also.

Watermelon lemonade, infused water, ice cubes, any of the ideas above are great, too! If you are not of the mind to soak it in vodka, you could soak it in peppermint tea for a refreshing twist as well.

Watermelon Margaritas!

Cube it, freeze it and put it in your blender with vodka, fresh mint and Fresca. I know Fresca sounds a little weird, but it is really delicious in my opinion. You could always go with loads of lime juice and some simple syrup if Fresca isn't your thing.

Granita? Sorbet? Cocktail?