I agree with J.B. that boiling the milk is necessary to make it safe, but maybe not for an enormous amount of time. This article in the NYT (https://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/24/dining/bending-the-rules-on-bacteria-and-food-safety.html) and this one that cites the USDA's guidelines specifically (https://www.thespruceeats.com/making-marinades-safe-331649) indicate that ten minutes firmly above 165 would be enough to kill harmful bacteria. (Also, if you're marinating your chicken in milk, and you kept it refrigerated while you did so, there should be relatively low levels of bacteria present.) Since most bechamel-style gravies are cooked at a high simmer/low boil for about twenty minutes, I would try this out (On a moderately paranoid day, I would take the precaution of testing the temperature of my cooking gravy to make sure it was staying above 165 after coming to an initial boil).
Most recipes utilizing milk as a tenderizer/marinade, direct that the soaking liquid/marinade be discarded. Your gravy would have to be “boiled” for an enormous amount of time for any accumulated bacteria to be destroyed by a heavy duty heating. Bottom line, I would not chance it.
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