April Fools' Day

Everything You Need to Cook Water

The pro-recommended tricks and tools to nailing cooked water every time.

April  1, 2023
Photo by Getty Images

While it’s supposed to be an industry secret, after the right amount of praise, attention, and compliments on their tattoos, any line cook will inform you that the key ingredient in restaurant-quality cooked water is superior equipment. Lucky for you, my tattoo-compliment-quota has been met (I have a single tattoo) so—since you’re asking—here’s everything you need to cook water, the restaurant way.


Ice Cube Tray

Behind every great cooked water recipe is an even greater ice cube. This is why you must make your own ice. Restaurants have been doing this for decades. In fact, many argue that the faucet-to-table movement of the late ‘90s made cooked water what it is today. It’s been reported that no Michelin-starred restaurant that sells cooked water has considered using store-bought or freezer-made ice cubes since.

If you’re making ice at home, nothing beats this Everyday Silicone Ice Cube Tray from W&P. The cubes are substantial, the trays are sturdy, and the colors are fun.

Thermometers

To cook water intelligently, you need to know every temperature in your kitchen. This means that at any given moment you should be able to provide an accurate temperature reading of the stove, oven, freezer, refrigerator, your left pinky, and the sweet potato sprouting in the back of your pantry.

When I need accurate measure of temperature, I use the OXO Thermocouple Digital Thermometer. It gives you a reading in 2 to 3 seconds. Then, to be thorough, I’ll get a second reading from my Yummly Smart Thermometer which conveniently syncs up to my phone.

Scales

To cook water with any degree of consistency, all water quantities should be measured in grams. One of the first things you learn in any professional kitchen is that measurements should always be taken in both analog and digital forms. This isn’t for a lack of trust—both are adequately accurate—but rather as a sign of respect for all the great water measurements that have been made previously.

When I weigh water the analog way, I use a Typhoon Farmhouse Kitchen Scale. For digital measurements, this Zwilling Enfinigy Kitchen Scale is top of the line.

Bowls

Another little industry nugget for you: cooked water isn’t a thing—obviously. But if a world existed where I needed a bowl of water to look gorgeous I would serve it in these bowls from Vietri.


What other equipment do you think is absolutely necessary for cooking water? Let us know in the comments below!

See what other Food52 readers are saying.

  • jane
    jane
  • Tpot0582
    Tpot0582
  • Andrea Young
    Andrea Young
  • earn.onliejobs.workers.dev
    earn.onliejobs.workers.dev
  • judy
    judy
Paul Hagopian

Written by: Paul Hagopian

Content @ Food52

9 Comments

jane April 2, 2023
That’s a great april fools joke. I was really trying to learn how to cook water and wondering what I would use it for. Lol. Good one F52!
 
Tpot0582 April 1, 2023
Careful as I was I kept scorching it☹️
 
Tpot0582 April 1, 2023
Ahh… April 1…
 
Andrea Y. April 1, 2023
This recipe is fantastic - my family asks for it every week. I've made a few modifications: I substituted a box of pasta for the water. Then I added in just a hint of store-bought pasta sauce, about 3 or 4 cups. I thought a sprinkling of parmesan from a green can would add that extra somethin-somethin to the water. And I served it with water that had been sprinkled on some grapevines, grown into grapes, then picked and fermented for a few years. I found this dark purple water to be a great addition to this dish of water. Also, is this gluten-free? I'm allergic to lactic acid.
 
I’m making a decent compensation from home $60k/week , which was astonishing under a year prior I was jobless in a horrendous l economy. I was honored with these guidelines and presently it’s my obligation to show kindness and share it with Everyone,
𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗦𝗲𝗲 𝗠𝘆 𝗡𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗩𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲,
 
judy April 1, 2023
Another article to sell expensive kitchen equipment. I use a measuring cup. Or an eyeball!


 
aargersi April 1, 2023
I grow my water organically in my small water and air patch, the flavor can’t be beat. Once it exits the hose it doesn’t see another faucet, just the great outdoors.
 
tholianweb April 1, 2023
I like to add a little low fat margarine to my cooked water. Everyone always asks for my recipe!
 
Rhonda35 April 1, 2023
Please share the recipe!