Author Notes: Naming drinks is a catch 22. Either you come up with something that describes it perfectly, but makes you sound like a jerk anytime you try to order it at a bar, or you have to go with something generic like “Grapefruit Gin Spritzer” that sounds like it belongs at a book club consisting exclusively of novels Oprah mentioned once.
It’s even more of a pain when you’re trying to name something with absinthe in it (or in this case, Pernod: the O’Douls of absinthe). Lord knows if the name doesn’t have the words green or fairy or devil in it some fedora-topped mouth is gonna yammer on for an hour about how you’re not appreciating a culture neither of you neither knows nor cares about.
So I went with The Pastel. Does it sound kind of pretentious? Sure. But find me a drink that doesn’t and I’ll point you to the nearest sorority girl throat it’s probably being throttled down via a plastic dollar store squirt gun. It’s a drink with something vaguely pink in it, and something green in it, and those are pastel colors, so there you have it. The Pastel. No I don’t think Manet drank this stuff, I just took the tenuous grasp my dichromatic (it’s a kind of color-blindness, look it up people) self has on colors and winged it.
Just don’t try to order it at a bar yet. You might get some looks, and not the good kind. —Fresh Beats, Fresh Eats
Makes: a tasty beverage.
dash dry vermouth
splash Grapefruit Perrier
- First, get a rocks glass (yes, I know that isn’t a rocks glass up there, quiet down), and put a few ice cubes in there.
- Add the gin, vermouth, and Pernot, in that order.
- Pour the Perrier on top. Now there’s a very important reason why you’re not getting all Roger Moore with this stuff and shaking it up. Three, actually.
- First, if you put fizzy stuff in a shaker and shake it, it’s gonna explode all over your face. Welcome to basic chemistry, folks.
- Second, that fizzy stuff is gonna do the mixing for you: once you pour it in and start drinking, the bubbles will move everything around until all the ingredients are just where they need to be.
- Third, shaking up drinks that don’t have anything non-alcoholic in them (i.e. juice) makes them taste like crap. Leave the foam for the fruity stuff, folks.
- This recipe was entered in the contest for Your Best Recipe for Daytime Drinks
- This recipe was entered in the contest for Your Best Cocktail