For a few years when I was growing up, my mom and I lived near a Subway. We were regular customers and we’d always split a footlong tuna sub. Although I professed to hate mayonnaise at the time (I’ve since learned the error of my ways), that sub was a notable exception. I loved the smooshy tuna salad—scooped out with an ice-cream scoop—that was as much mayo as it was tuna. I no longer eat tuna, but my love of smooshy sandwich fillings lives on with Faux Tuna Salad Sandwiches.
There are now a million variations of this around the interwebs, and I don’t remember where I first was introduced to the idea, but I’m grateful to them all the same. I no longer measure ingredients when I make this, I just add blops of stuff as I go along, but these measurements should give you a starting point until you figure out your personal blop-size preferences. Also, I’ve found this is toddler-friendly fare if I skip the onions and don’t add hot sauce. —Lindsay-Jean Hard