Sh*t out of the pantry pasta

March 10, 2019
0 Ratings
Photo by Hillary Ann Plocheck
  • Prep time 5 minutes
  • Cook time 10 minutes
  • Serves 2
Author Notes

This pasta is bare minimum but flavor maximum. It's those ingredients that you forgot about in the pantry and they're on the edge of expiration but also your last chance to have a good meal before you have to make that inevitable grocery store trip. You've swept through all of your backup meals and landed on eating sh*t out of the pantry. —Hillary Ann Plocheck

What You'll Need
  • 1 handful Pasta (literally whatever you've got)
  • 1 handful Crushed Ritz crackers
  • 1 tablespoon Garlic powder (*kiss kiss)
  • 1 teaspoon Red pepper flakes
  • 1 tablespoon OPTIONAL: Grated part or any little bit of cheese you've got
  • 1.5 tablespoons Olive oil (More or less & you can use butter too)
  • 1/2 teaspoon OPTIONAL: Lemon juice
  1. Bring 5.5 cups of water to a rolling boil, add salt to taste. Don't be afraid of the salt. Get salty like the ocean.
  2. As your water gets hot, get to work on those crackers. Put them in a ziplock bag or mash them anyway you can. Feel free to get creative here. Little bit of Fritos in the bag? Grab'em. Plane crackers you kept but never ate? Throw'em in. This pasta party is an open invitation.
  3. Once your pasta water starts to boil, add as much pasta as you want to the water. Get that water bubbling again for 9 minutes. Stir the pot every few minutes.
  4. While you're waiting on the pasta to cook, grab a bowl and throw all of those ingredients in. Crushed crackers, garlic powder, red pepper flakes (check your drawers for leftover ones from ordering pizza), any kind of grated cheese you like & stir.
  5. Check on the pasta. Drain it, and throw it back in the hot pot from whence it came. Add in your olive oil and toss it well. I want every nood shiny. Don't be afraid to add a little more oil. Butter works fine here too!
  6. Grab that bowl with all of your dry ingredients and dump it lovingly into the pot with the pasta. Toss again. Make sure every nood is covered in crumb.
  7. Add some salt if it needs, and lemon juice if you like. Congratulations. You made an excellent dinner with sh*t out of the pantry.

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