Middle Eastern

Why the Art of Hospitality Means the World to the Middle East

February 24, 2017

According to the Charities Aid Foundation World Giving Index, the nation with the highest ranking of kindness to strangers is Iraq, a war-torn country fighting to end their occupation by ISIS. Indeed, such is the power and longstanding tradition of hospitality in Iraq that in the last month, despite desperate living conditions, eight out of ten Iraqis have helped someone they don’t know.

Hospitality is a bedrock of cultures and countries across the Middle East, and it manifests in ways that would likely take Americans by surprise. While there are many ways people show it (more on that later), perhaps the grandest expression of Middle Eastern hospitality is—surprise!—through food.

Take a simple meal at a restaurant. It’s a given that if you are invited out to eat by an Iraqi, it means the person who invited you really wants to feed you and pay for everything. “Even if twenty people are invited to the meal. Even if it means giving up a month’s pay,” explains Sara Leana, a first generation Iraqi and lifelong Los Angeles resident who writes the insightful addalittlelemon blog on Iraqi food and culture. “I remember in college arguing with my cousin over the bill and she went along with the argument, but she had already given her payment upfront before anyone had even ordered!”

Shop the Story

In Syria, when you go to dinner at a restaurant, it’s as personal as if you were eating in someone’s home. According to Yassin Terou, a Syrian refugee and the chef/proprietor of the beloved Yassin’s Falafel House in Knoxville, Tennessee, “people go to the same restaurant every time because you build a relationship. You meet the chef, you know the servers. You’re not just a customer.” And in the home, it’s even more important to make a guest feel welcome: “If you are invited in by even a very poor family, they will spend all their money and all their time to prepare the most labor-intensive food for you,” Yassin says. “Making you feel welcome makes them feel proud.”

It’s the same in Iran, where having people over means making more food than could possibly be consumed by the number of guests. This includes but is not limited to, as Hooman Majd, an Iranian-American political commentator and the author of The Ministry of Guidance Invites You To Not Stay explains, “a table with no less than three completely different dishes as well as a bounty of sides. A bowl of fruit piled impossibly high, and placed in front of every seat, little plates and knives for peeling the various offerings.” These are some of the exquisite details that go into the Iranian art of hospitality, she says: A dance of politesse and ritual that makes a guest feel welcomed in your home. Iranians even have separate, superior dishes used exclusively for guests.

Join The Conversation

Top Comment:
“I recently spent a week volunteering in a refugee camp in northern France, where most of the refugees were young Kurdish men from Iraq, and I can only attest to Middle Eastern hospitality. Even though the only things they had were a can of tuna or chickpeas, a little salt and spice, and some dates, they cooked consistently amazing food to share with all. I often had three meals back on back because "no thank you" is not an answer :) I can only hope to reciprocate some of that hospitality in the future and applaud your charity dinner initiative! Best of luck! ”
— BarbaraM
Comment

But Majd believes that all the fuss over guests actually developed as a survival skill: “Iran has been invaded multiple times in the last two millennia, and each time has managed to avoid losing its Persian essence—kill your enemies with kindness, could be the operative phrase!” In Iran, as in other countries in the Middle East, hospitality holds an element of one-upmanship, wherein you try to treat your guest better than he or she has treated you. A lavish meal embodies character traits like generosity and selflessness that are valued by Iranians, but it also shows that you have sacrificed time, spent money, and are a good cook. “All important facts that your guest will recognize, and will be obliged to reciprocate,” Majd adds.

If you are invited in by even a very poor family, they will spend all their money and all their time to prepare the most labor-intensive food for you. Making you feel welcome makes them feel proud.
Yassin Terou, Syrian refugee and chef/proprietor of Yassin’s Falafel House in Knoxville, TN

Funny enough, the most striking example of Iranian hospitality from my own experience doesn’t actually include food. When I visited Iran, my cousin Ezzy, an ophthalmologist, insisted that I let her examine my eyes, and afterwards bestowed on me a beautiful pair of Tiffany-branded prescription glasses. Truth be told, I would rather have been exploring Tehran during the hours I spent sitting in a chair while she lovingly tested every facet of my eyes, but she would not take no for an answer. This was serious old-country civility that is unheard of in the West.

Although the customs of hospitality are similar across borders, the special dishes that you serve to honor a guest differ from country to country. For a Syrian feast, Yassin Terou recommends oozy – yes, oozy! – filo dumplings stuffed with rice, vegetables, and meat, or shakriya, a slow-cooked stew of lamb and spices in tangy yogurt sauce. Sara Leana would choose the show-stopping Iraqi dish quozi, a full slow roasted and stuffed lamb atop a bed of bejeweled biryani rice. In Iran, while a meal prepared for guests must include various stews, an appetizer, and dessert, the most important thing to Hooman Majd is making sure the guest has the pick of the tahdig—crispy burnt rice.

Shakriya (Syrian Stewed Chicken or Lamb in Yogurt Sauce) by Cups of Chai
Quozi (IraqI Leg of Lamb) by Add a Little Lemon

When you have time, maybe on a Sunday, make one of these dishes, and try entertaining Middle Eastern-style. Serve a table full of food, put out sweets, and pour tea so you can linger long after the meal. Slow down time by living in the moment for an afternoon: I promise you’ll feel more kinship with Middle Easterners after exploring this sensuous side of the culture. Many immigrants are feeling frightened by the White House's talk of stepped-up deportations, whether it affects them directly or not. So, if you have the opportunity to do so, include among your guests someone from a foreign land who might enjoy some extra company and a meal among friends. More than likely they will be your most helpful guest, and show you a thing or two about hospitality. And of course, afterward, everyone will be obliged to return your kindness.

In response to the recent proposed immigration ban, Louisa will be holding a Persian dinner March to benefit immigrant and refugee rights non-profit organizations. For details on the dinner, visit lucidfood.com.

Louisa Shafia is our Writer in Residence this month—read how writing her cookbook brought her closer to her Iranian heritage, about the Middle Eastern origins of ice cream, and about Nashville's Little Kurdistan. Stay tuned for more from her on the site.

6 Comments

Elizabeth D. March 1, 2017
Love, love, loved this Louisa! Just posted it to my FB page as well! xo
 
Azora Z. February 25, 2017
This is great! I'm a huge Hooman Majd fan so cool to know what his take on hospitality is :)
 
Author Comment
Louisa S. February 26, 2017
Hooman Majd is the coolest.
 
BarbaraM February 25, 2017
I really enjoyed reading this, thanks! I recently spent a week volunteering in a refugee camp in northern France, where most of the refugees were young Kurdish men from Iraq, and I can only attest to Middle Eastern hospitality. Even though the only things they had were a can of tuna or chickpeas, a little salt and spice, and some dates, they cooked consistently amazing food to share with all. I often had three meals back on back because "no thank you" is not an answer :) I can only hope to reciprocate some of that hospitality in the future and applaud your charity dinner initiative! Best of luck!
 
Author Comment
Louisa S. February 26, 2017
That is incredible. Everyone should hear these stories of the generous spirit of refugees. The images you describe are so vivid, thank you for sharing.
 
Diane N. February 25, 2017
Never a more true word. Having spent a good few years in the Middle East, either working or travelling, the one thing that always showed its hand at every turn was middle eastern hospitality; through simple acts of kindness, or food for the hungry, bereaved, for friends, for family, for those they've just met, or for repaying a debt of thanks.