Parody of Guy Fieri menu

You gotta love it, however disgusting some of the items are:

Diana B
  • Posted by: Diana B
  • February 19, 2013


sexyLAMBCHOPx February 21, 2013
Racheal Ray inspired me to start cokking when she began on her Food Network show. I was in my late 20's, living in a studio apartment in NYC. I would watch her shows and say to myseld, I could do that and I didnt know that. A few years later, I married and moved into a well eqiupped kitchen. It was a lot of fun using her cookbooks to teach me how to make meals on my own. I didn't have a mom or grandma or family to teach me hands-on, but she made it seem fun and easy. So spew hatred and bodily harm on to the lame and ignorant chefs that are out there, but without them I wouldnt have the know how to do what I can do today as a very good "home" cook. Dinner party for 12, no problem, special diets, no problem, no processed food here. Just great, unpretencious food that aims to please myself & guests. Have I "graduated" from Food Network, perhaps, but would never judge. FWIW, Sandra Lee makes me green in the gills but, thats just me. It's OK, I guess to make fun, but reading the mean-spirited comments makes me feel bad. To each is own.
sexyLAMBCHOPx February 21, 2013
Oy, I wish my auto correct would work on this site.
ATG117 February 20, 2013
I agree that I would not put Rachel Ray and Fieri in the same category. Sometimes I wonder whether the guy has any pride or, alternatively, shame. But, it is true that Times SQuare is the only place his resto has a shot, and even so, I doubt it will last.
Pierino, I am curious about your pre-washed salad green comment. How does the pre-washing increase chance of contamination?
pierino February 21, 2013
ATG, what happens is that if a section of the lettuce field is contaminated with either salmonella or worse, e-coli. The "washing" process actually spreads the contaminent through a lot of lettuce leaves. The analog is supermarket ground beef. The meat parts might come from maybe one hundred cows all in one cute little foam tray.
Rachel Ray's thing with bagged lettuce is of course that it's short cut. But if you want to go that route, well then accept the risk. I hope that helps. And thanks for asking.
paseo February 20, 2013
With all due respect, Pierino - a lot of people haven't had resto experience, the only produce they have seen is bagged (maybe since it's all that's available to them) and much you much watch a lot to hear her description of 'evoo'. I have worked too many years in"the business" to count, grew up and lived for years farming in California and have taught inexperienced, which is not to say ignorant, beginners- but I find it not very productive, if one is trying to encourage people to cook for themselves (and maybe you are not), to denigrate someone who at least might get someone out of the processed food aisle. I think people need all the encouragement they can get to cook for themselves. And if it's someone as lame and ignorant as Rachel Ray, so be it.
pierino February 20, 2013
Paseo, I appreciate your comment. And if you grew up farming here I salute you because you understand the risks. Bagged lettuces are a convenience but like supermarket ground the risks of food contamination from stuff like run off from cattle ranches draining into lettuce fields. The "washing"process multiplies the risk. And I tip my AS Roma hat to all the farmers I see at work every day. An almost daily traffic hazzard is "black cow in lanes on 101".
Actually I do teach some cooking classes on the basic stuff myself. This is a community living situation where people boast about living like "our ancestors". Well, buddy your ancestors lived to be about 50---if they were lucky. One guy in this crowd brought in a bottle of Kraft "Lite Caesar" salad dressing. I had to say, "have you read the back of the label?" Doesn't get me anywhere. How hard is it to make a real caesar salad?
pierino February 20, 2013
Paseo I probably wouldn't mind Rachel Ray as much if, besides her kiddy show clown act, that she say's things off of the top of her head that are completely wrong. She also advocates practices that are actually dangerous, like the use of prewashed bagged lettuce. A bit of e-coil could ruin the rest of your life. I live in the Salinas Valley so I'm familiar with this stuff. She also once answered a question about "EVOO" this way, "oh, that just means it's unfiltered." That couldn't be further from the correct answer. And I do know the right one because I work in the business. While she and Guy Fieri and Paula Deen (how does she work three syllables into her last name?) might inspire one to cook it's like learning from The Three Stooges. Without the eye pokes.
Bill F. February 21, 2013
Rachel Ray is probably the most insufferable human on earth. And conveniently her food network friend is a close second. But at least Paula Dean has some industry experience. When I saw her EVOO on sale at local grocery store I almost went off the deep end. At least understand what you are selling before you hock it to others.
sexyLAMBCHOPx February 21, 2013
Bill F - RR's chicken stock is highly rated by Cooks Illustrated, FWIW.
pierino February 21, 2013
Amen Bill F! Rachel Ray will slap her name on anything. Remember her knife line? Made in Australia. Their cutlery tradition I believe extends to boomerangs. And maybe Crocodile Dundee. You can probably buy her knives by the pound now. Sur La Table discontinued them because the handles kept coming off. And her magazine? Do you think she even reads it (let alone write for it)? She's got people for that.
Anne "Bride of Chuckie" Burrell obviously has serious restaurant experience but her television personality just keeps getting more annoying. This hurts because the people who work in the restaurant world, front of the house or back of the house, are my friends. And Flay? How far down the 'ho ladder is he willing to go? I actually want to like the guy. Our roots are the same. But still, it's like trying to watch Jersey Shore.
paseo February 20, 2013
This parody was hilarious - mainly because of it's truthiness. But as much as I am not a fan of Rachel Ray and really dislike the dumbing down of Food Network shows, I know people who have become inspired to cook because of her (and progressed beyond quite nicely, thank you). So unlike Pierino, I don't think she is all bad and don't think it necessary to get my knickers in a knot over her. Guy Fieri, on the other hand, is his own self parody.
darksideofthespoon February 20, 2013
Oh god, I just peed myself laughing at this! I haven't laughed so hard since I saw that montage of Guy Fieri eating food in reverse. (
pierino February 20, 2013
ChefJune, the next time you are in Healdsburg try Bouchon, Keller's zinc bar French restaurant. Unlike the $400 tasting menu up the street they serve trencherman size portions---or at least they did when I was there. That said, Guy Fieri epitomizes Food TV's gift for dumbing down cooking shows. It's all lowest common denominator now. And this process all began with Rachel Ray; "she's cute, she's perky, she knows s*** about cooking and children of all ages love her." Possibly one day she'll slice off one of her sausage like digits on a live show owing to her scary knife practices.
sexyLAMBCHOPx February 20, 2013
Lovely, Pierno - Not. I bet if he was not well known and posted his recipes here all would say yeah!

Voted the Best Reply!

pierino February 20, 2013
Okay, don't take my word for it His rating in the Times was "poor". No "yeah!" from this side of the room. Pete Wells in the Times said the wait staff was doing its best to pretend they were working in a real restaurant.
ChefJune February 20, 2013
I don't think we would "all say yeah." Two summers ago, a friend and I were in Healdsburg, CA (where he's from and has a restaurant). We were looking for a quick, casual bite, and the concierge at our hotel suggested his place, just across the street. I truly cannot remember a worse meal. Everything was overly salted, and there were some of the strangest combinations of food. We were unable to eat anything. I do remember when he won "Food Network Star," back before he became a caricature of himself, and thinking his food seemed "interesting." Not any more.
pierino February 20, 2013
Guy Fieri is a self parody so it's pretty hard to top. The New York Times review which ran some weeks back was the single most scathing (and also funny) review I've ever seen published in their pages. But where did Fieri set up shop? Just off Times Square. So you sort of know the customer he is reaching out to. Hey, Nebraska! I'm talkin' to you.
happycao February 19, 2013
nice, and so accurate!
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