Combine the eggs, seaweed, celery, and shallot in a bowl.
Make the dressing by whisking the tahini, miso, lemon juice, garlic paste in a small bowl, adding maple syrup or honey and tamari to taste.
Thin the dressing by adding cold water in splashes, stirring constantly, until you have the consistency of a creamy salad dressing. Adjust to taste. You’re looking for a pretty intense hit of flavor when the dressing is tasted alone, with a burst of miso saltiness and strong lemon-y zing. It’ll balance out once you get it into the salad.
Fold the dressing into the egg salad and mix vigorously, smashing with the back of a fork or spoon until the yolks are no longer crumbly but have mixed into the sauce to form a thick paste.
My tiny hometown newspaper once printed a column by my six-year-old self offering a peanut butter cookie recipe in which you put the oven "at burning degrees." Things have gotten better since then. (I think.)