Haitian Griot and Djondjon Rice with Fried Plaintains and Pikliz

Directions

1. First, the Pikliz. This is the stuff you’re gonna put on the griot to make it really happen.
2. Chop up the cabbage, dice the onions, and julienne the carrots. You can dice up some shallot and green or red peppers if you wanna use those too.
3. Stick them all in a jar along with the cloves, a teaspoon of salt, and a scotch bonnet.
4. Heat the vinegar until it starts to simmer, then pour that in the jar as well.
5. Tighten the lid, let it sit for 48 hours, and you’re golden.
6. Next, the rice.
7. Soak the mushrooms in a small bowl of warm water for half an hour, just enough to cover the mushrooms. It will both smell and look like a bowl of dirt. This is ok.
8. Strain the mushrooms and KEEP THE WATER. That’s where all the flavor is, and it’s also where you get that cool, dark color in the rice. Pick out any bits of dirt that are at the bottom of the bowl.
9. Heat the oil in a medium pot on medium-high, and mince the garlic, red pepper, and a tablespoon of onion. Throw them in the pot and let them sauté for a couple of minutes, then add the black dirt-water and simmer for about 15 minutes.
10. Strain the water again, setting the vegetables aside.
11. Add chicken broth to the water until you have enough for the rice, then cook it for as long as the little package says.
12. Fluff the rice with a fork, stir in the mushrooms, a scotch bonnet, and the other vegetables you just cooked, and let the rice sit on super-low heat while you cook up everything else.
13. Next, the good stuff: pork.
14. Cut up the pork into bite-sized chunks, about half an inch square.
15. Squeeze the citrus in a medium-sized bowl and toss the pork in the juice.
16. Put the pork in a container or plastic bag, add the herbs, spices, and a tablespoon of salt, and toss. Let it marinate overnight.
17. After the pork’s done marinating, throw it in a big pot and cover with water. Boil it on medium-high until all the water evaporates; it should take around an hour. Normally I’m vehemently against boiling any kind of meat, but after that long-ass monologue up there, I’m not gonna mess with the purity of this stuff. If they say boil, I say how high.
18. Once the meat’s done boiling, take it out of the pan and set it aside on a plate.
19. Heat some olive oil in the pan, still on medium-high, and fry both sides until brown, about 3 to 4 minutes a side. Take it out of the pan and set it aside.
20. We’re gonna do the plantains last, because you want those to be hot and crispy as the dickens.
21. First, slice the plantains into roughly half-inch slices.
22. Put the oil in a big pot and heat it up to medium-high. You want enough oil to completely cover the bottom of your pot, so if a ¼ cup’s not enough, add more.
23. Add enough plantain slices to cover the bottom of the pot without crowding them, and fry until the bottoms are brown, about 2-3 minutes. Plantains have a metric crap-ton of sugar in them, so they’re gonna caramelize fast. Keep an eye on those babies before they go from golden brown to tar black.
24. Flip, fry for another 2-3 minutes, then let them drain on a few paper towels set on a plate while you do the second batch.
25. Once all the plantains are fried, take something heavy and flat (the bottom of a glass works well) and flatten them. You wanna get all the tasty bits out, so if you see un-fried, yellow stuff, you’re doing it right.
26. Throw ‘em back in for a second fry, about a minute or two on each side. Take them out, sprinkle some salt on, and let them drain.
27. Eat. Eat a lot.