Naming drinks is a catch 22. Either you come up with something that describes it perfectly, but makes you sound like a jerk anytime you try to order it at a bar, or you have to go with something generic like “Grapefruit Gin Spritzer” that sounds like it belongs at a book club consisting exclusively of novels Oprah mentioned once.
It’s even more of a pain when you’re trying to name something with absinthe in it (or in this case, Pernod: the O’Douls of absinthe). Lord knows if the name doesn’t have the words green or fairy or devil in it some fedora-topped mouth is gonna yammer on for an hour about how you’re not appreciating a culture neither of you neither knows nor cares about.
So I went with The Pastel. Does it sound kind of pretentious? Sure. But find me a drink that doesn’t and I’ll point you to the nearest sorority girl throat it’s probably being throttled down via a plastic dollar store squirt gun. It’s a drink with something vaguely pink in it, and something green in it, and those are pastel colors, so there you have it. The Pastel. No I don’t think Manet drank this stuff, I just took the tenuous grasp my dichromatic (it’s a kind of color-blindness, look it up people) self has on colors and winged it.
Just don’t try to order it at a bar yet. You might get some looks, and not the good kind. —Fresh Beats, Fresh Eats
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