1. Chop cauliflower into chunks and pulse in a blender or food processor (about 6-8 quick pulses) until they turn into “rice.”
2. Heat a nonstick pan over medium heat. Add EVOO. When the oil is hot, add tofu cubes and leave them alone for about 4 minutes. Seriously, just go do something and come back. This is how you get a nice golden crust. Check a few pieces to see the color, and then flip them over onto the other side, and cook for another 3-4 minutes. Sprinkle with sea salt. Set aside.
3. In the same pan, add vegan butter. Over medium heat, add kimchi and kimchi juice, and cook for about 3-4 minutes, lightly stirring. Add cauliflower rice and stir to combine. Cook for another 5 or so minutes, until cauliflower is completely cooked.
4. To serve, top rice with tofu cubes. Garnish the fried rice with nori flakes, sesame seeds, and green onions, and serve.