Cube your potatoes into small or tiny pieces, whatever you have the motor skills and attention span for.
In a large skillet, pour a glug of oil, maybe a tablespoon per serving. Heat on medium-high for a minute or two, to get it good and hot but not smoking.
Add the potatoes, push them around to coat them in oil, add a fat sprinkle of salt, and let them cook for a minute or two to brown. Then stir them around until they're brown and crisp on the outside and cooked through on the inside. Don't burn your mouth when you taste them. They should be crispy and salty and good, but not too salty. You're already dehydrated as it is.
Add a GENEROUS amount of black pepper. Really, a lot. Remove from pan and transfer to a shallow bowl or whatever. Shave a bunch of cheese on top, so much that it almost covers your potatoes. Top with more pepper. Serve with a glass of water which you shouldn't forget to drink. Eat. Go to bed.