New & NowEphemeraLists

The Funniest, Most Bizarre Emails That Come into Our Inboxes

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Every time I open an email is a game of roulette.

Because when you divide the number of promotional emails you get a day (like, 100000) by the number of promotional emails you open in a day (like, 3), you realize that public relations and marketing companies have to do a lot of work to get you to click. (And what about us: Do Food52's email subject lines tempt you?)

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And that results in subject lines that are so funny, deceptive, or downright confusing, you never know what you're going to get. (It also means I accidentally delete a lot of emails from my friends and family. I swear I never got it!)

Photo by Rocky Luten

Here's a sample of some of the subject lines that most surprised, puzzled, or delighted me over the past month:

  • Become an Instagram Foodie Star from Home! > A rice cooker
  • Baker Uses Scientology as the "Special Ingredient" > The "Meet a Scientologist" series (did you know that the Church of Scientology was the first major religion to launch its own official YouTube channel?)

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  • Fwd: Dannon Announcement!! > "Dannon is holding a press conference tomorrow, Thursday, July 14th to discuss its new products with non-GMO ingredients as well as their commitment to more transparency in labeling!" Exclamation point!

  • Survey Finds The Weirdest Food Grown in America Is… > Ball jars (and the answer is: habanero, ghost, and purple bell peppers)

  • Veggie Carpaccio For The Win! > an East Village restaurant

  • FOR CONSIDERATION - list of condiments that moms and dads fear the most this July 4 > a market research firm (and if you're curious about the answer, grass is number 1 on the list. Since when is grass a condiment?)
  • Flavor Up Your Fourth: Patriotic Recipes > Sparkling Ice, a zero-calorie fruit-flavored carbonated beverage that I probably wouldn't cook with
  • 6 Easy & Healthy Summer Snacks in a Snap > six more recipes with Sparkling Ice
  • A Lasagna Walks into a Bar... > an East Village "hidden gem" where the "lasagna bolo for two is downright divine"
  • Franchise Businesses - Biggest Republican National Convention Winners > a small chain of restaurants in Northeast Ohio that prepared for a 25% bump in customer traffic during the R.N.C.
  • Move Over Margaritas > an "on-trend and super Instagram-able Berries & Green Veggies Tequila Slushie" for National Tequila Day
  • Coffee and dessert go together like Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton > Mr. Espresso, the Oakland-based specialty coffee roasting company
  • Try this: Summer recipes that are trendy AF > I think this is for broccoli rabe?
  • NEW! Swimsuit Inspired By Margaritas | National Tequila Day > tequila (an obvious guess but this is still funny, right?)
  • Update For You > the Levitating CUP: the first wireless cup to defy gravity and float in the air using electromagnetic suspension

Do you have a personal subject line philosophy? Tell us in the comments!