Ephemera

The Funniest, Most Bizarre Emails That Come into Our Inboxes

July 31, 2016

Every time I open an email is a game of roulette.

Because when you divide the number of promotional emails you get a day (like, 100000) by the number of promotional emails you open in a day (like, 3), you realize that public relations and marketing companies have to do a lot of work to get you to click. (And what about us: Do Food52's email subject lines tempt you?)

And that results in subject lines that are so funny, deceptive, or downright confusing, you never know what you're going to get. (It also means I accidentally delete a lot of emails from my friends and family. I swear I never got it!)

Photo by Rocky Luten

Here's a sample of some of the subject lines that most surprised, puzzled, or delighted me over the past month:

  • Become an Instagram Foodie Star from Home! > A rice cooker
  • Baker Uses Scientology as the "Special Ingredient" > The "Meet a Scientologist" series (did you know that the Church of Scientology was the first major religion to launch its own official YouTube channel?)

  • Fwd: Dannon Announcement!! > "Dannon is holding a press conference tomorrow, Thursday, July 14th to discuss its new products with non-GMO ingredients as well as their commitment to more transparency in labeling!" Exclamation point!

  • Survey Finds The Weirdest Food Grown in America Is… > Ball jars (and the answer is: habanero, ghost, and purple bell peppers)

  • Veggie Carpaccio For The Win! > an East Village restaurant

  • FOR CONSIDERATION - list of condiments that moms and dads fear the most this July 4 > a market research firm (and if you're curious about the answer, grass is number 1 on the list. Since when is grass a condiment?)
  • Flavor Up Your Fourth: Patriotic Recipes > Sparkling Ice, a zero-calorie fruit-flavored carbonated beverage that I probably wouldn't cook with
  • 6 Easy & Healthy Summer Snacks in a Snap > six more recipes with Sparkling Ice
  • A Lasagna Walks into a Bar... > an East Village "hidden gem" where the "lasagna bolo for two is downright divine"
  • Franchise Businesses - Biggest Republican National Convention Winners > a small chain of restaurants in Northeast Ohio that prepared for a 25% bump in customer traffic during the R.N.C.
  • Move Over Margaritas > an "on-trend and super Instagram-able Berries & Green Veggies Tequila Slushie" for National Tequila Day
  • Coffee and dessert go together like Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton > Mr. Espresso, the Oakland-based specialty coffee roasting company
  • Try this: Summer recipes that are trendy AF > I think this is for broccoli rabe?
  • NEW! Swimsuit Inspired By Margaritas | National Tequila Day > tequila (an obvious guess but this is still funny, right?)
  • Update For You > the Levitating CUP: the first wireless cup to defy gravity and float in the air using electromagnetic suspension

Do you have a personal subject line philosophy? Tell us in the comments!

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8 Comments

anotherfoodieblogger August 1, 2016
Ummm, grass. Yeah. LOL. Those damn 4th of July brownies! I hate it when they sprinkle grass on them. (With love from Oregon, a recreational-legal pot-smoking state.)
 
Cinnamin July 31, 2016
I also thought it would be about emails from food52 readers and members. Me too. Her articles are as bizarre as the emails she receives. What is happening to Food52? Why this sudden urge to be all twee and cutesy? There's a difference between giving us a glimpse of what goes on behind the scenes and just putting out content for the sake of putting out content.
 
susan G. July 31, 2016
about that subject line: I expected to read 'bizarre emails' to you from food52 members, subject or content...
 
Author Comment
Sarah J. July 31, 2016
Sorry for the confusion! Guess it goes to show how hard it can be to convey a message in a limited number of characters!
 
caninechef August 1, 2016
Ditto, I thought it would be member emails, there are probably some funny one's out there
 
Alexandra K. July 31, 2016
FOR CONSIDERATION - list of condiments that moms and dads fear the most this July 4 > a market research firm (and if you're curious about the answer, grass is number 1 on the list. Since when is grass a condiment?)<br /><br />..Whaaatt? You've never sprinkled some freshly cut grass on your pasta!? </sarcasm> haha
 
Fredrik B. July 31, 2016
I swear, I put freshly cut grass on everything. I could probably eat it with a spoon.
 
creamtea July 31, 2016
Grass was a popular "condiment" when I was in college...