Because when you divide the number of promotional emails you get a day (like, 100000) by the number of promotional emails you open in a day (like, 3), you realize that public relations and marketing companies have to do a lot of work to get you to click. (And what about us: Do Food52's email subject lines tempt you?)
And that results in subject lines that are so funny, deceptive, or downright confusing, you never know what you're going to get. (It also means I accidentally delete a lot of emails from my friends and family. I swear I never got it!)
Here's a sample of some of the subject lines that most surprised, puzzled, or delighted me over the past month:
Become an Instagram Foodie Star from Home! > A rice cooker
Baker Uses Scientology as the "Special Ingredient" > The "Meet a Scientologist" series (did you know that the Church of Scientology was the first major religion to launch its own official YouTube channel?)
Fwd: Dannon Announcement!! > "Dannon is holding a press conference tomorrow, Thursday, July 14th to discuss its new products with non-GMO ingredients as well as their commitment to more transparency in labeling!" Exclamation point!
Survey Finds The Weirdest Food Grown in America Is… > Ball jars (and the answer is: habanero, ghost, and purple bell peppers)
Veggie Carpaccio For The Win! > an East Village restaurant
FOR CONSIDERATION - list of condiments that moms and dads fear the most this July 4 > a market research firm (and if you're curious about the answer, grass is number 1 on the list. Since when is grass a condiment?)
Flavor Up Your Fourth: Patriotic Recipes > Sparkling Ice, a zero-calorie fruit-flavored carbonated beverage that I probably wouldn't cook with
6 Easy & Healthy Summer Snacks in a Snap > six more recipes with Sparkling Ice
A Lasagna Walks into a Bar... > an East Village "hidden gem" where the "lasagna bolo for two is downright divine"
Franchise Businesses - Biggest Republican National Convention Winners > a small chain of restaurants in Northeast Ohio that prepared for a 25% bump in customer traffic during the R.N.C.
Move Over Margaritas > an "on-trend and super Instagram-able Berries & Green Veggies Tequila Slushie" for National Tequila Day
Coffee and dessert go together like Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton > Mr. Espresso, the Oakland-based specialty coffee roasting company
INBOX: "Coffee and dessert go together like Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton."
A (former) student of English, a lover of raisins, a user of comma splices. My spirit animal is an eggplant. I'm probably the person who picked all of the cookie dough out of the cookie dough ice cream. For that, I'm sorry.