I'd use coconut milk as others suggested, or maybe even a homemade cashew milk with less water so it would be creamier. It definitely depends on the type of filling you're making though - alternative milks would work with substituting milk or cream in the traditional egg custard base, or a base set with gelatin or cornstarch. But if you're making a more mousse-styled filling with whipped cream, then you're probably better off substituting whipped coconut cream or soyatoo maybe.
Coconut milk is the best sub, I think, because it adds similar richness to whole milk. As someone who cannot drink milk, I also cannot tolerate Lactaid, so I would never suggest it as a substitute for milk.
I use coconut milk all the time. I mean the good stuff in the can that is just milk from the coconut and nothing else. Whole Foods 365 is a good one. All those drinkable non dairy milks in cartons are full of nasty additives. You can also make your own nut milk. It's pretty easy and tastes so good.
If lactose is the problem and not casein, can you tolerate Lactaid? That seems to be in stores everywhere and I believe is just milk with the lactose removed.
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If lactose is the problem and not casein, can you tolerate Lactaid? That seems to be in stores everywhere and I believe is just milk with the lactose removed.