A neighbor gave us a huge bag of cooked bacon. The problem? It's very spicy and hurts my mouth. How can I remove or tone down the heat?

All good suggestions here ... but, alternatively, you could just send it to me!

To add MMH answer, I'd Imagine it will also be good as substitute for some portion of the meat and as flavoring in soup, vegetable stir fry, and fried rice (to substitute Chinese sausage).

You could use it as a garnish or as an additive to something more mild - like a topping on clam chowder or a salad. You could fold it in to a frittata or a breakfast burrito or quesadilla. Dairy products work well with spicy ingredients.

How can I get a neighbor like yours?

Try a few pieces in a fry pan and use water to cover it. Should dilute the flavor and will crisp up once water evaporates.