My turkey is on fire. What should I do?

Use it to toast marshmallows.

Sounds like your turkey made it. Glad you didn't slather it with mayo.

Cover it! No oxygen means there is nothing to fuel the fire!

If there are flames that are out of control or you’re in danger, call the fire department. Use a fire extinguisher if need be.

You can dump a large amount salt or baking soda on it to suffocate the fire, but it needs to be enough to cover the turkey. You can also use the lid of the roasting pan.

As for what to serve, maybe best to order pizza if the turkey has been badly burnt.

Do not put water on the fire.