Just back from lunch thinking about this: what is the dumbest beverage name you've ever encountered?

Alright, I'm starting with the frappacino and working down the evolutionary ladder through the "smoothie" from Apu's Quiki-Mart. What else do you find ridiculous? Starbucks has a lot to answer for. Anyone named their first born son Mojito?

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27 Comments

Aimless May 13, 2011
7-11 has The Big Gulp. That name rates high on the dumb scale.
 
susan G. May 11, 2011
Here's the "dope" on coke and Coke:
http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/cocaine.asp

In short, yes, it did; not drug-free until 1929.
 
susan G. May 11, 2011
No, no!! Ovaltine is sacred!
 
pierino May 11, 2011
Actually, I think "coke" in Coca-Cola is one of those urban legends. Coca-Cola and Dr. Pepper have always tightly held their secret formulas. It's a southern thing. Mountain Dew however may have meth in it.
 
TiggyBee May 11, 2011
On the bottom rung would be Ovaltine and the Slurpee.
 
ChefJune May 11, 2011
hehehee Mountain Dew is in a green bottle for a good reason. It looks just like pee.

As for Frapaccino. Well,Starbucks inherited that. Frapaccinos were invented in Boston, at a chain of coffee houses that were called "The Coffee Connection." When Starbucks bought them out, they adopted the Frapaccino and ruined it. It WAS an Iced Coffee Shake. In Boston, milkshakes are called "Frappes." Get it?

@Sadassa: Champale? UGH. I remember that un-fondly.
 
dymnyno May 11, 2011
It is all relative. Can you imagine what the reaction would be if someone today launched a drink called COKE! With its' drug reference it would be banned...even though originally it did in fact have that ingredient in it.
 
Sadassa_Ulna May 11, 2011
CHAMPALE! If you are not familiar, it is a malt liquor that is supposed to taste like champagne!
 
boulangere May 11, 2011
Does anyone else remember those little pull-tab cans of wine?
 
amysarah May 11, 2011
Going to show my age here, but Yoohoo was a very popular drink in the 1960's (I think it was actually invented way before that, like the 20's or 30's.) ''

Back then, it was usually in bottle, with a very distinctive yellow graphic label...it was the kind of thing you'd occasionally get for a treat at summer camp, like if your team won a game of Capture the Flag or Red Rover. I even remember the Yogi Berra TV commercials for it. In those days, who cared what was in it? Now I feel ancient, but yeah....good times.
 
Sam1148 May 11, 2011
@Lorigoldsby. Shut yo mouth. (G). Yoo Hoo is pretty good, it's been around since the 50's. Supersweet chocolate milk (okay milk powder). In a shelf stable drink. (LOTS OF SUGAR THO).

Mix it with coffee and it's basically what you get from Starbucks for mocha.

I know people the military that mix it with vodka for black Russians, off duty in the dorms of course. (never tried that, or wanted that for myself tho).
 
boulangere May 11, 2011

OMG vvvanessa that's hysterical!
 
ALittleZaftig May 11, 2011
Two words: Meat Water.
 
vvvanessa May 10, 2011
boulangere, i think you will be particulary mortified by this:
http://www.cupcakevodka.com/
 

Voted the Best Reply!

wssmom May 10, 2011
Sex on the Beach? Especially since it is usually consumed far away from the beach and rarely leads to well, you know ...
 
lorigoldsby May 10, 2011
This reminds me of the old David Letterman " Stupid Pet Tricks" or some other inane top 10 list but thank you Pierno for some funny "food for thought". Maybe that should be a subset of food pickle?
 
lorigoldsby May 10, 2011
There is a drink called "yoo-hoo", sold in CANS which is supposedly a chocolate milk drink!!
 
Dabblings May 10, 2011
How about "the red-headed slut"? Especially since it's usually girls that are drinking it.
 
boulangere May 10, 2011
And how on earth many flavored vodkas are there by now?
 
boulangere May 10, 2011
I picture the classic martini slinking around in a trenchcoat, hat, and large sunglasses attempting to disguise itself from all the new _____tinis who have deeply embarrassed it.
 
SKK May 10, 2011
I had forgotten about Pocari Sweat! That is great.
 
Sadassa_Ulna May 10, 2011
Malk is what is served in the school cafeteria on the Simpsons, but that is funny in its stupidity . . . There is a Japanese sports drink called Pocari Sweat. My son just brought home a bottle of "citrus blast" (yeah he has to spend his own money on that). I don't understand all those ______-tini drinks that are served in martini glasses. Fun food for thought!
 
boulangere May 10, 2011
Mountain Dew, toxic waste, how true!
 
sdebrango May 10, 2011
Mountain Dew, looks like toxic waste has nothing to do with mountains or dew. Boulangere totally agree about the tidy bowl cocktails, yuck!
 
mtrelaun May 10, 2011
Brawndo from the Mike Judge film "Idiocracy."
 
SKK May 10, 2011
Coke Zero and Pepsi Max

 
boulangere May 10, 2011
Anything with Blue Curaçao in it. By any name at all, they all look like Tidy Bowl in the end. No. The umbrella doesn't help.
 
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