My name is Riddley and I have a confession. It’s terrible, horrible confession: From the ages of 8 to 14, I seldom (really, never) ate breakfast. There was nary an egg, a piece of toast, or fruit in sight. I have no reason besides laziness.
There was, however, one breakfast worth setting an alarm for: Dinosaur Eggs Oatmeal. Most mornings, the anticipation of ripping open one of those brown Quaker packets while waiting for the kettle to boil was almost too much for me to bear. I wanted my oatmeal and I wanted it now, preferably consumed while watching Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons.
But, oh, was it wait worth the wait: Adding just enough water to avoid watery oats, stirring (with a fork, as Quaker’s website suggests), watching the white shell around the eggs disappear to reveal the colorful dinosaur within, and consuming the brown sugar-heavy oats in one minute flat.
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On the weekends, I’d use two oatmeal packets. Yes, I was crazy like that.
Now, I’ll wake up an hour early just to eat breakfast. Even—okay, especially—if it’s dinosaur eggs oatmeal. And since I’m the kind of person who can let anything be, I decided to make my own version, borrowing the coating technique from puppy chow to form an “egg shell” around dinosaur-shaped sprinkles. If you like your oatmeal completely inundated with dinosaur eggs (and who can blame you), double the egg recipe!
The hardest part of making the oatmeal is, and will always be, waiting for the water to boil.
5 cups quick (or instant) oats, divided
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup dry milk powder
For the dinosaur eggs, place the white chocolate and butter in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave in 30-second increments, stirring in between, until the chocolate is melted. Quickly add the sprinkles and stir to coat. The sprinkles might start to bleed a little, but that’s okay! Transfer this to a resealable quart-sized plastic bag and add to the confectioners' sugar.
Now, it’s time to shake it like a Polaroid picture. Shake the bag to coat and separate the sprinkles, periodically squeezing the larger clumps. Keep shaking until “eggs” form. Some eggs will be bigger than others, but this just means there’s multiple dinosaurs hiding inside. If this bothers you, gently break up the larger clumps into smaller eggs using your fingers.
For the instant oatmeal, place 3 cups of the oats into a large bowl. Put the remaining 2 cups into a blender and process until powdery, then place into the bowl with the whole oats. Add the salt, brown sugar, and powdered milk and whisk to combine. Add the dinosaur eggs and use your hands to mix and evenly distribute. Transfer this to an airtight container to store.
For serving, place 1/2 cup of the oatmeal into a bowl and add boiling water until you get your desired consistency. Stir with a fork and watch those eggs dissolve! Feel the child-like happiness. Serve.
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