Valentine’s Day ranks as the #1 holiday to make fun of but then go along with (#2 being St. Patrick’s Day and its Irish Car Bombs, #3 a tie between New Year’s and every food holiday).
So if your feelings about February 14 are the same as mine—I will do it if you really want, but I will not devote much time or money, and I will figure it out the day of—then this post is for you.
While it might be your instinct to go to the drugstore and get the chocolate in heart boxes or the teddy bears or a shiny card that sings, that won’t get you a wink and a chuckle. But these ideas for funny, cheeky, low-touch presents that only require you to go to the nearest convenience store and pick up a maximum of four items will.
Because if you really wanted to "set the mood" rather than elicit a laugh, you'd go for the undie roses (please don’t do that).
This one's a safe bet for when you haven't figured out your partner's quirks and likes just yet (or if Valentine's Day is your first date. If that's the case, tell us more).
The neon pack. Permission to use our cheesy pun.
Sometimes the best gifts are the practical ones. It shows you know what they need, and then took the initiative to help them out. It also makes you appear like a good planner despite almost dropping the ball on Valentine's Day, as chances are very high that one of you will be sick in the coming months.
After you present this gift, you can make a little joke about how you want your relationship to always stay sweet and never turn sour. They might hand you a cheese ball, but at least you'll know you're both proficient in food puns.
This one is rated P.G., because Valentine's was a lot more fun when you had to hide it from your parents.
This one can go in a lot of directions, depending on what type of ice cream sundae you like. To keep the gift themed for the holiday, though, go with the ice cream choices mentioned here.
Because Netflix and chill is not an acceptable suggestion.
This one doubles as a break-up tool.
Tell us about your best holiday save!