If you'll be slicing piles and platters of watermelon—or pineapple, or canteloupe, or cake (?)—for a Fourth of July gathering, might I suggest the Perfect Slicer?
No! I might not. I will not.
In the video, men and women glide the giant-sized apple corers through watermelons—and a whole lineup of other 10 hard-to-cut-fruits (fast-forward to 1:01)—as if living in a world where friction does not exist.
In reality, Amanda and I smashed, bruised, and altogether mutilated the fruits (and vegetables) as we tried to take them from whole to perfectly sliced.
While we damaged a fair amount of fruit and covered the test kitchen in a sticky mess along the way, we did come away with some key learnings:
- Don't believe anything you see on an infomercial. (Should have known this one!) Just look at the way she's holding the knife at 0:05 as evidence.
- Raw cooking spray—which Facebook commenters suggested we apply to the blades of the slicer to help the tool slip through—has a very discernible taste (especially when applied to fresh fruit).
- Stools are useful cooking tools—not only for reaching high objects but also for getting leverage when you have to apply extreme amounts of force.
- If you have to apply extreme amounts of force, your tool—especially if it's marketed to make things easier—is not working.
- If you hear a cracking (as we did several times) sound, do not proceed (as we did).
- When something's being sold as a 2-for-1 product, there's a reason. (Thought experiment: Why would you need two of the same single-purpose items unless you plan to put them to use simultaneously?)
- Sometimes the old-fashioned way is the best way, and sometimes a sharp kitchen knife is the most useful tool. (Slicing a watermelon, a cake, a tomato? Not really so difficult anyway.)
Still curious about our findings? Watch the entire test here.
P.S. We did eat all of the sad fruit anyway!
Have you ever purchased a pretty terrible product from the internet or the TV? Are there any products out there you'd like us to test? Tell us in the comments!