As of late, I’ve become obsessive in my quest to “find the food angle” everywhere I look. The good news: I find a lot of food where I least expect it. Every Friday, I will present each week’s findings. Here are last week's.
Adam Maxted's Instagram: Adam Maxted, a British dimple-clad dude wrestler who was recently a contestant on the U.K. dating show Love Island, decided it'd be twee and clever to take a picture of himself bringing a protein shake into McDonald's and shaming everyone eating there, because honestly how is this not sociopathic behavior? “Sometimes I like going into McDonalds to sit and have my protein shake…just to make everyone there feel better about their diet,” he captioned "the snap," as some British tabloids have termed it. He's since deleted the offending post, which deservedly attracted a lot of negative criticism. In it, he appears as a wax replica of an actual person, arms posed carefully that they seem to be made of plastic. I've had dreams about it every night. I didn't know what the words "Love Island's Adam Maxted" meant before this week, and now I've been forced to.
The hands of Mrs. Dai, the Taiwanese woman eating a pork bun whilst caught in a typhoon: Typhoon Megi hit Taiwan on Tuesday and has since had a death toll of five people and counting. Yet our grand old netizens have abstracted this natural disaster accordingly by lusting after this photo of a woman in Taipei who was eating a pork-bun just as the storm hit. (The photo recalls Irish newscaster Teresa Mannion's viral, melodically dramatic newscast in the midst of Storm Desmond this past December, advising her watchers not to tread treacherous weather conditions unnecessarily.) Sheepish about a bout of virality she just didn't ask for after being captured in this moment by Associated Press photographer Chiang Ying-Ying, the woman gave her name only as Mrs. Dai. She blamed the pork bun's appearance in her hands on her husband, who bought it for her just before the storm came through. An alarming number of people—I've counted one, which is honestly too many—have suggested that Mrs. Dai is "all of us." Hm. No, I don't think that's true. Are you a woman in a typhoon? I'm not.
Space: Finding its current methodology for growing wine in its parched vineyards wasn't producing desired results, China's vintners sent out some cargo outfitted with vines of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, and Pinot Noir into space. It surmised that the environmental conditions of space will mutate the vines such that they're able to grow in the country's arid temperatures. (Fine, this news actually broke last week, but I'm sticking this in here because I've read this article reporting on the phenomenon at least eighteen times and still don't really understand what's going on. Please let me know what's happening.)
California's barbershops and beauty salons: On Wednesday, California governor Jerry Brown signed a bill for a new law allowing barbershops and beauty salons to sell complimentary beer or wine to its patrons without requiring a license or permit. Crazy! The new law will go into effect on January 1st of next year. Exciting! This doesn't affect my quality of life whatsoever, but I was able to reach my friend from Palo Alto, who told me [sic], "I dont really give a shit about this law." Wow!
New York City's Affordable Art Fair: Crystal artist Daniel Jacob debuted "Pops" at New York City's Affordable Art Fair on Wednesday. They're sculptures of popsicles created with fine crystals. According to Eater, they're constructed of over 8,000 crystals and sculpted on hard resin.
Stiff Bull, the potentially dangerous male enhancement-infused coffee: Be careful, boys. Stiff Bull is a male enhancement herbal coffee that made headlines this week; "The Relationship Saver," its website boasts. The fact that this even exists isn't surprising. At first glance, Stiff Bull seems of a piece with our continual social fascination with grounding our medicinal priorities into drinks that go down easy—take our beloved Metamucil. Anyway, the FDA came down "hard" on this one when it declared that the supplement-infused coffee actually has an unlisted ingredient that could "lower blood pressure to dangerous levels." Neat!
Introducing our 2016 Election Flavors. Available today at all scoop shops and shipping nationwide! 🇺🇸For Hillary Clinton: Madam President // Made with sugar and spice and women’s rights. Chili pepper chocolate ice cream with Hillary’s own chocolate chip cookies. (Both powerful AND comforting.) 🇺🇸For Donald Trump: Make America Orange Again // Warning! May contain bluster, hot air and bricks. Orange marshmallow ice cream with brownie bricks. (Artificially colored.)
Our unending election cycle: On Monday, ice cream chain Ample Hill Creamery announced they'd be debuting two ice cream flavors ahead of that night's presidential debate, one for each candidate: "Madam President" and "Make America Orange Again." It's pretty difficult to detect where their political allegiances lie. The former is crafted in accordance with Clinton's two favorite foods, chocolate and hot peppers that, uh, suggest that "in sum: a powerful yet comforting combination of sugar and spice and women’s rights." Okay. Meanwhile, Ample Hills found Trump's meteoric ascendance so categorically abhorrent that they abandoned their principle of never using artificial flavors, calling this flavor "a shamelessly orange marshmallow creamsicle flavor with chocolate brownie bricks (to build a wall). Best of all, it’s far more palatable than his political positions." If you'd like to try them for yourself, the flavors are available at Ample Hills' New York City stores through election day, while they're also available for nationwide delivery.
What did I miss this week? Please, I beg you, let me know in the comments!