How not to cook a Turkey.

I am dying. But there's a little bit of Marnie in me - I'll admit it. My pet peeve is the person who decides to make a pie 1 hour before we are set to sit down - all 28 of us.

Well then, that would make this recipe truly a world classic.

All mushrooms are edible, once.

Wow, aargersi, you gave me the idea for little baby alligators! Those little teeny ones with all the teeth. That would be exciting when they came out on the table!

foam....so passe now that we have Spheres....

The HMTL tags might not work for another 'joke' recipes for steak..I'm going to test posting here. Actually it might this one might be a joke..but something you'd pay big bucks for in a world class modernist place. (which I love BTW).

Take the steak and use a lab grade ultrasonic device (new window) to tenderize the cell walls and break down the fat molecules.

Put in cryrovac bag with a bit of rosemary and oil.
Inject some hickory smoke into the bag using a "Smoking Gun" (new window)smoke infusion device.

Using a VacMaster, Dry Piston Pump Chamber machine (new window)..remove the air from the bag to .25 atmospheres of pressure then heat seal.

Place the bag with steak in waterbath. Using a thermal immersion circulator (new window)set to 140 for med rare. Let that cook for 10 hours.



With a standard centrifuge separate components of one bottle of A1 sauce. Using pipettes...remove the individual layers and reserve.
Mix components with Calcium Chloride.
Drip into a bath of Sodium Alginate to create caviar sized spheres of each component layer. Drain and reserve.

The steak should be ready by now.

Lightly sear the outer surface a with Carbon Dioxide laser to create a .2 MM crust and dust with pink sea salt crystals and ground pepper.

Top with the A1 Alginate spheres...and herb butter.

Serve with a salad of juiced Romaine lettuce..flash frozen in liquid nitrogen, freeze dried balsamic vinegar flakes with olive oil spheres and tater tots on the side.



ENJOY!

Sounds great Sam, super simple and everything in this recipe is something we would have on readily at hand in our kitchens. I will have to drag out my hielscher ultrasonic cell disintegration device for this one.

The April Fools category??

I actually could use one of those smoking gun smokers...they're fairly reasonable too.
http://www.cuisinetechnology.com/the-smoking-gun.php
Actually, I'd like a big sous-vide machine too.

and that was a response to the original question.

With the turtle shells, the egg shells probably wouldn't be noticed. And egg shells would add a healthy calcium element to the dish. Plus the plating would be more theater with the wholes eggs coming out of the turkey cavity..and perhaps one struggling box turtle.

LOL!!!!

I think most foodies appreciate food humor just like this post. And you did tag it as "just for fun" which it is!

A small komodo dragon would work well.

Note to self.

But great for weight loss. ;-)

But great for weight loss. ;-)

Sam, you may have already answered this but why 3 1/2 baby box turtles and not 4 1/2? And do you think one could make a bouillabaisse stock out of the turkey drippings? Inquiring minds want to know!