Broccoli by Request

Directions

1. Rehydrate the mushrooms by pouring warm or hot water over them in a large bowl. You can do a quick rinse first if you plan to save the liquid for making a soup or gravy. The rinse eliminates the "sand" that settles at the bottom, which is probably just dry mushroom dust. If you use hot water be careful when you cut them, as they are spongy little suckers and you don't want to get burnt. (sadly, speaking from experience)
2. Start to make the only dressing you'll ever want by whisking or shaking together (in a glass jar) lemon juice, mustard, “nooch,” and Braggs.
3. Add olive oil and garlic last, emulsify by whisking or shaking vigorously. (If you use a whisk your garlic is going to get stuck in the tines, don't worry about it.) If it’s too salty, add water a teaspoon at a time, stirring in between tastings. If it is too mild, add extra Braggs or nooch, again, a teaspoon at a time. TBH, as a home cook I have a thing against measuring, so adjust the amounts as your unique-unicorn-tastes call for.
4. Coat and heat cast iron pan on high with canola oil. If using broiler, coat a sheet pan with oil. Not too much, unless you like oven fires. (again, experience. sigh.)
5. Rinse and shake the broccoli dry. Chop it into pieces as big as you like to gnaw on. Use the stems, too.
6. Char broccoli in pan or broil (approximately 15 minutes) and set aside in large serving dish.
7. While your broccoli is cooking, carefully squeeze out the mushrooms. Remove the stems. Throw the stems in the mushroom liquid if you're saving it. Cut the mushrooms in half or triangles if you don't want them to take on a strangely slug-like appearance when they're cooked. (Honestly, one will care, they're gonna be delicious!)
8. Add oil to pan if dry, fry mushrooms until gills are browned and mushrooms have shrunk approximately a third of their volume. Add to broccoli. If using broiler, treat mushrooms the same as broccoli.
9. To avoid splatter, make sure your tomatoes are dried after rinsing. Add a tiny bit of oil to the pan, add tomatoes to the pan and shake occasionally until they’re blistered and charred. Add to broccoli and mushrooms.
10. Incorporate all ingredients and serve to omnivores, pescetarians, vegetarians, vegans and other people you like. P.S. I tagged it as "Asian" because I figure it counts 'cuz I am one. ;0)