Whatever, Hallmark. Whatever, pink-frosted cookies in windowsills and heartwarming ABC Family specials and imploring stuffed bears. Maybe you have a sweetie, maybe you don't -- as Rhett Butler would say, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." And neither should you.
This year, you don't have to get a Valentine for everyone in your class. Heck, you don't even have to leave the house -- because this Friday the 14th (more like Friday the 13th, amirite?), we're giving exactly zero hoots. We're going to eat what we want, when we want, preferably in our PJ's on the sofa with a bottle of wine in one hand and a slasher movie on TV. Because who cares about whether you have garlic on your breath or some spinach in your teeth -- embrace it. You don't give a flip.
These dishes are not the prettiest. They're not the sexiest. They're not even the cutest. But by golly, they are delicious.
Because you might as well start your night off with pickle juice and whiskey. Sort of like an aperitif, but the opposite of classy.
Meatloaf is probably the least sexy food in the world. Get on your stretch-band sweats so you can match.
At this point, you should probably eat a dish that's 50% cream for dinner. Then chase it with a pickle back.
It's not winning any fashion shows and it'll make your clothes smell like Indian takeout, but eh -- we love it.
Jerky for dinner. Enough said.
Instead of poaching or scrambling or frittata-izing your eggs, you're coating them in sausage and frying them. Heh.
No cake. Just frosting. Best eaten with your fingers.
This dish makes the cut because it will make your breath smell like fish and it's hard to eat neatly. But so easy to enjoy.
This vinegar is acidic and bitter, like your soul.
Keep away vampires and potential lovers with this garlic toast. Two birds with one stone!
This hot dog is wrapped in bacon. Pretty self-explanatory.
What do you eat when you just don't care? Let us know in the comments!