Is it okay to cook with wine when serving a guest in AA recovery?
I was planning on making a pork dish that I usually deglaze with red wine and boil down into a rich sauce. I assume that the alcohol burns away, but is it rude to serve to someone who is in AA? What would be a good substitute in a meat dish? Better safe than insensitive??
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From that, it appears that the wisest and most thoughtful approach would be to honor the ingredient restriction very strictly, much like accommodating someone with a restriction for religious reasons (e.g., no pork, no animals).
Of course, communicating directly with the diner(s) in question might clarify the matter, but in the end, it starts with a certain amount of respect for their situation and preference.
If you are not willing to make the effort to ASK THEM DIRECTLY or alter your ingredients, just make it clear from the start lest you suffer from some extremely violent and unpleasant repercussions (some of which have been described in this thread).
Best of luck to all. Enjoy your meal.
:-)
About Cooking with Alcohol
I'm an alcoholic and I've been sober for 38 years. I am militant about my sobriety. I rigorously refuse to eat food prepared with alcohol. Not because I fear it may "trigger" me (I don't live in fear of drinking anymore), but because I prefer living my life without alcohol.
When someone tries to "sneak a little sherry" into their cooking and then tells me "there's no alcohol in it", I have been known to spit out the first bite all over their fine tablecloth, rinse out my mouth with water and spit that out onto their fine china, then leave, never to trust that person again.
I have been known to ask my waiter if the kitchen uses wine or other alcohol with any dish, and have therefore quite often found myself sitting through many a banquet while staring at a plate of beautiful -- but wine-soaked -- food that I can't eat, while I go hungry.
One time I asked for a salad without dressing, specifically telling the server the reason why. The salad arrived, soaked in red wine dressing and reeking of alcohol. I asked what the dressing was, and the server replied "red wine vinaigrette," at which point, I replied, "I said no wine and told you why," then picked up the salad bowl and emptied it onto his serving tray.
My point is that even when a recovering alcoholic is open and honest about their desire to remain alcohol-free, a disturbing number of people believe that it is perfectly fine to just lie about alcohol. To an alcoholic, however, it is a deadly serious and very legitimate concern. After 38 years of sobriety, I have no desire to return to the violent, a-hole, loser I was when I was drinking a case and a fifth a day, nor do I grant anybody the right to shove alcohol down my throat.
You may call me "unsociable," and point out that I probably don't get invited to many social functions. I may also point out that my results of being "sociable" would require you to spend time and money cleaning my vomit out of your fine carpet, and calling ambulances and police to deal with the outcomes of my "philosophical discussions" -- in general having a raging drunk (me) ruin your meticulously planned "social" event.
Maybe you and everyone else in your universe can handle "a little wine" in your food, but quite simply, I cannot. The choice is yours -- have alcohol OR have me at your party. It's either/or but not both.
--An Anonymous Alcoholic
You're so very thoughtful to consider your guests needs though.
Stock makes a great deglazer, as do a variety of fruit juices.
My BIL is a recovering alcoholic, so my sis does not cook with alcohol at all, and has made a game out of finding other liquids that add lots of flavor. For instance, Dr.Pepper (flat works best) results in a similar flavor profile to Sherry! And there are "famous" recipes for brisket that use Coca-cola.
the taste of alcohol leftover in a dish is as likely to be a trigger as, say, having to show up for a social dinner at all in the first place.
if you are unsure, and if you are close/comfortable enough with the person, ask if the wine is okay. if you aren't, i'd err on the side of leaving it out.
Regardless, about dinner: recovery is about someone managing his own situation, yet you don't want to make it unnecessarily harder than it already is either - a dinner party is supposed to be fun, comfortable and relaxing for your guests, right? So I'd skip the alcohol - there are other things to use for cooking once in a while.
(Also as someone mentioned, if your friend takes Antabuse, he'd be careful to avoid alcohol - even a tiny amount would make him VERY ill - that's the point of taking it. So he'd probably ask before eating. Btw, anti-craving meds - Naltrexone, Zofran, etc. - aren't the ones that have that effect, they simply cut down on the actual craving.)
Most alcoholics won't trigger on some things, like wine, or other than their 'daily driver' alcohol. It all depends on the individual and if they're in the 'drinking mouthwash' stage.
Heck, even vanilla extract is 70 proof for alcohol content..but the flavor doesn't trigger cravings for drinking booze.
Preparation Method & Percent of Alcohol Retained in the Food
alcohol added to boiling liquid & removed from heat 85%
alcohol flamed 75%
no heat, stored overnight 70%
baked, 25 minutes, alcohol not stirred into mixture 45%
baked/simmered, alcohol stirred into mixture:
15 minutes 40%
30 minutes 35%
1 hour 25%
1.5 hours 20%
2 hours 10%
2.5 hours 5%
Now, it may be that the amount of alcohol in a dish is modest to start with, but the fact that some of the alcohol remains could be of significant concern to recovering alcoholics, parents, and others who have ethical or religious reasons for avoiding alcohol.
As for whether what remains is okay, even after a long braise, that can be individual - how newly in recovery this person is, how sensitive to it...for some, just the taste of alcohol can be a 'trigger.' If it's someone you're comfortable asking, I would. Otherwise, I'd definitely say better safe than insensitive.
"Since first coming into AA I adopted a zero tolerance for any food that uses alcohol of any type in the recipe. My well meaning "Normal" friends have tried to persuade me for years that "Its OK the alcohol cooks off". I never believed that and would not take any chances eating out. I know I have another drunk in me but I don't know if I have another sobering up in me. It just wasn't worth the risk as it is a life or death matter."
I did some heavy research and this is what I found:
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A study conducted by the US Department of Agricultures Nutrient Data Laboratory calculated the percentage of alcohol remaining in a dish based on various cooking methods. The results are as follows: