Does anyone else feel like I do; when you ask a question on here that some responses are rather condescending? Is it just me?
Are you channeling your best self with this comment? (If you're not sure, check out our Code of Conduct.)
Chefsusie - that is totally true; however, it is important that we all remember that we are an eclectic, odd ball, group of folks united simply by our love of all things food. We all come with different levels of knowledge and experience -- and equally important -- all have different social and communication skills. So, some may be writing in a way that appears condescending without meaning to, while others may be rolling their eyes as they type a seemingly lovely response. I can think of one name in particular who always seems to be condescending in his/her responses, but also provides really great information, so well worth reading. I have to wonder what he/she might be like at a cocktail party -- would he/she be shy and retiring, or patronizing of all, or the life of the party? I guess my thinking is that we all need to accept each other as we come, and that means to do our best to impart our wisdom without condescension but openly and honestly and also to realize that no response is actually personal (right? I mean, very few of us actually know the others, so by definition the responses can't be personal) so to take the wisdom that is offered and overlook the tone or words used to impart them when that is the kindest thing to do.
I accept your response. I agree. As my mother used to say: "You can lead more bees with honey than you can with vinegar." So I suppose I will just continue being cheerful and delighted with the culinary world. Thanks for responding! Kindly, I might add! :-)
Yes, but I recently learned you can actually catch more flies with vinegar than honey! (a very old-fashioned method for catching fruit flies -- a small bottle with a half inch of vinegar in the bottom, clear plastic wrap over the top with small holes -- toothpick size -- punched in the plastic! Voila! A fruit fly "Hotel California"! My bananas and other fruit ripening on the counter are no longer plagued by fruit flies!! It is an amazing trick and totally off topic...!)
Thank you for your nice response to my response... :)
I have done that! It works splendidly! Perhaps helpful hints is another website? Hahaha. Well, I best get back to my Vidalia Onion & Maple Conserve! It smells heavenly!! I have fresh bread to go with it! Good thing I went to the gym =)
Barbara is a trusted source on General Cooking.
chefsusie, your question makes me sad! I've been on this site from almost the beginning, and I think for the most part everyone is really caring and supportive. As SeaJambon says, some of us are characters and have strong points of view, but generally when someone is rude or nasty, the rest of the community jumps in to stop it. (Amanda and Merrill have been known to send the offenders to their respective rooms for a time out!) Please keep participating. If you read through some old questions, you'll get a feel for people's personalities. What makes this community unique is the fact that we're respectful and supportive of each other. We need people like you here who want to keep it a nice place to be.
Sarah is a trusted source on General Cooking.
Agree with drbabs. Also, I think professional cooking tends to either attract (or develop) a certain personality characteristic of striving for efficiency above all else. Chefs by nature tend to be opinionated, brash and direct - just read some of the dialogues in Lucky Peach. Nothing personal, it just gets the job done quicker. So a site that attracts both pro cooks and home cooks is bound to be a bit more skewed towards this type of discourse.
Food52's actually a hell of a lot more civil & supportive than most online forums!
Being relatively new to the site myself, I hear what you are saying and have already have already felt a jab or two. I really appreciate the answers from the two more seasoned participants because I have never felt these jabs were personal and am glad to hear confirmation. Some very knowledgeable opinionated people participate and my sense is they really care about being heard and understood. I learn something new every time I long on. I am just so happy to find others like me who can spend all day talking about food. The people who sit at my table every day love my food, but do they want to talk about it all day? No way!
Sometimes, its hard to convey a certain tone when you are communicating through an online forum. There are times when I've posted on certain forums and been criticized for being rude or condesending when that was not even close to my intention. Without actually hearing the voice or seeing the facial expressions of the person communicating, the real intent of the message can be missed. I've only been on this site for a few months, but I've never considered anyone here condescending.
and like Sarah Reinertson state, "....I think professional cooking tends to either attract (or develop) a certain personality characteristic of striving for efficiency above all else...."
you just have to take into consideration that many of the members on this site come from the restaurant industry where there is little room for misunderstandings. its very common place to be given explanations in a very direct manner which can be seen as rude to some people.
pierino is a trusted source on General Cooking and Tough Love.
To add on to what Sarah and Benny said, I'll say that when you are looking at a lot of questions sometimes it's better to be terse rather than windy in your answer. The other side of it is that some of the questions are so poorly composed that you wonder at times if it's just another troll messing around at a Whole Foods kiosk or on their IPhone. Unless I'm writing an article or an essay I don't have time to get into explaining what say, "mother sauces" are.
I totally recognize that chefs have that "personality". However, I don't address ppl with little knowledge of cooking in a condescending tone. Imagine if you had difficulty with your computer, a new language, or are a new parent. and need help I believe it's important to help someone and not make them feel inept. All the more reason to proof ones answers. I use this with my kids. THINK. T is : is it true? H- is it helpful? I - is it inspiring? N- is it necessary? K -is it kind? Words to live by.
I love your THINK acronym. I'm a teacher and plan on using this with my students this fall! Thank you!
Sam is a trusted home cook.
As online forums go. I find this place runs a very tight ship.
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Well played. You deserve a cookie.
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