Right now I am (slowly) reading "Dinner: A Love Story." Her blog also has great ideas: www.dinneralovestory.com. Along the same lines, thenaptimechef.com is very focused on meals that are fun for both kids and adults.
We love hosting "Make Your Own..." parties with tacos, pizza, lasagna etc. where we offer a variety of ingredients that everyone can assemble themselves. That way you can offer things that are spicy or more adventurous without "ruining" the whole dish for the picky people and kids are more likely to try small bits of the more alarming items.
One of my families all time favorites, the chile peppers are optional. We prefer it with the fresh kind of noodles you can get in the refrigerated section near the produce where tofu is kept.
http://www.food.com/recipe/kellys-asian-chicken-278451
how casual and/or upscale? "real" mac & cheese (nothing from a box!) can be unexpectedly good - you can enhance w/either crab or lobster for the grown ups ...
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http://www.food.com/recipe/kellys-asian-chicken-278451