I need some help y'all. Thanksgiving dinner help. It needs to be amazing, but not day-of time intensive. Two vegetarians, two paleo, one diab

Meghann, I entertain large meals very frequently and have found that it helps to set the table in advance if you can; maybe the night before if the table is not needed for breakfast. Have your serving platters selected and in the kitchen. My mother used to cut and arrange the dessert platters and pour the milk or cream into the pitcher ahead also. The coffee cups could be out on a buffet. Do whatever you can do ahead. Sometimes I even have a printed list taped up on the cabinet above the counter so I don't forget anything, and I try to run through the instructions ahead of time to anyone helping me.

My opinion? If it's not a genuine allergy people need to suck it up and behave re: food with good manners the way it used to be. You eat what is served, if don't like something be quiet and just don't eat it, and remember that you are not in a restaurant.

Sounds good I am doing a half- trail marathon let me know how you do!

Sound like a feast! Run well and enjoy!

All right! After much nail-biting and hair twisting, I have decided how to do this dinner. My boyfriend is doing the wine (you may have heard me say I'm not particularly discerning when it comes to wine. Beer on the other hand...) and a fancy local cheese tray for which I am making mostarda. I'll also serve some pickled veggies I made this year and some baguette. Then we'll have a roasted pumpkin soup that I will make and freeze well in advance. My mom and dad are bringing a ham and a turkey, cornbread that just needs baking, and sweet potato casserole. I will make brussel sprouts (without bacon fat this time), the crispy delicate squash that Merrill recommended, dressing, and the obligatory mashed potatoes. I have the diabetic veggie guests bringing a dessert and my rotten brother is bringing one also.
So day-of is almost NO cooking, just warming up mostly and setting out. I'll have all my serving dishes labeled, linens pressed and folded, dishes washed, and all that jazz well in advance too.
My paleo and veggie guests are cool to cheat since it's a holiday. Thank you all so much for your help!

PS - Good luck with the half! After that, you'll deserve to make something totally buttery and sugary just for yourself.

I second Amanda's recommendation of the delicata squash! This might also be an easy and people-pleasing side: http://food52.com/blog/2823-finding-the-sweet-spot-carrot-puree

People have made a lot of great suggestions for Meghann (and all the rest of us). Food awareness and preferences are much more complex than in years past. It's an interesting question for a host - dealing with food constraints - because you would of course feel badly if someone at your table seemed to be going hungry. On the other hand, guests also need to be respectful of the host's workload (so maybe, if you're worried about foods that fit into your diet, bring your own container of something you can eat, explain a reason to your host quietly on the side, and be as low-key about it as you can).

I was talking with a sibling who is a superb cook and entertains often about this as a hosting issue. Just to add another solution, he reminded me that as kids, we were expert at camouflaging whatever we didn't like under the potato skins or mashed potatoes. :-)

OK, there's no need to squabble over this and it's unproductive to tell someone to grow up. Obviously some of reacted to this question differently than others. So what? There are plenty of specific suggestions. Now , calm down and please don't lecture me or pierino for a difference from your pen viewpoint.

One option, if you have objections to other people's food choices, is not to comment on them at all. It's not unlike letting people choose religions without commenting on them.

I always do creamed onions at Thanksgiving, which are delicious and should work for vegetarians and diabetics. You can make them the day ahead, too. Soup is perfect! Also, when I do stuffing/dressing I often do two batches - one with bacon fat and the turkey liver that goes inside the turkey, and one vegitarian that goes in muffin tins outside.

http://food52.com/recipes/19408-vegan-lentil-shepherd-s-pie-with-parsnip-and-and-potato-mash here is a recipe that should meet everyone's needs

What a wonderful host :). One other way to make things easier would be to perhaps consider deconstructed dishes of sorts. That would be an elegant way to let people eat what they wish, without having to tailor to them specifically. Perhaps do pumpkin pots de creme instead of a pie, and garnish each cup with a shortbread square (or octagon )on top. Most vegetarians are happy enough with the sides ( aren't they the best part of the day anyway ). And I'd do at least one thing right, sticking to tradition and let everyone decide whether they want to eat it or not, and thus be thankful that they have the priviledge of choice and the grace of knowing how to share one day of the year with the others.

I'm overwhelmed with such wonderful responses! I knew you all would have great advice for me.
None of my restricted-diet (or restrictive, as the case may be) are all that strict, and the diabetic is one of the veggies. No one is self-righteous about their dietary choices, I just know these things about them and want to try to accommodate them in some small way.
I am not going to kill myself over pleasing everyone (I'm saving that for the race), but I do want my guests to feel welcome at my table, for them to know that my thoughts included them them when I planned our feast and that my heart went into making a family holiday away from their own families special for them.
My family farms, and I am a baker; we eat whole nutritious foods prepared deliciously. Our food, our fuel, should excite us, not just to want to eat more, but to want to eat more of what makes us feel good and strong.
So though I love cooking with bacon grease, I will use butter and olive oil instead for one day. And I will make a nut flour pie crust, even though it'll probably fall apart, and use my most beautiful pumpkin for the filling. I bet it will taste great. And if most goes according to plan, at the end of the day, everyone will feel full, well-fed, and glad they came.

Two people after my own heart. It's the self righteousness that so annoying.
Bravo

I'm with you, pierino. While I realize there are people who have celiac, it isn't that common despite inflated statistics. I get tired of running what feels like a cafeteria for all sorts of diets, and the vegans are particularly self-righteous. The vegans I know, however, usually bring something they can eat. I do provide for their needs up to a point, but also for the preferences of others. Those on very restrictive diets can "eat around the edges" if there are options. Sounds like you have guests who are not on restrictive diets. I doubt they would enjoy a vegan, gluten-free Thanksgiving. I do realize this is an unpopular viewpoint.

Oh, and ask your paleos if they eat any dairy at all. Some people are fanatical about trying to mimic the diet of our ancestors and others are just trying to eat low-carb and will sometimes have a little butter or cream. It will make life easier if they can flex for this one meal and eat something that has a little dairy.

Wow....a lot of people post-marathon! It sounds like everyone has slightly different dietary needs. The Paleo diet and the (ideal) diabetic diet are really similar (low carb, no potatoes, no flour, no rice, no grains, no sugar). Paleo people don't eat dairy, which is fine for diabetics and vegetarians, however. For simplicity's sake, I would make everything other than the turkey vegetarian and make as many of those dishes vegan as you can.
- Vegan Pumpkin or squash soup. This can be made the day before or even several days and frozen. You can do a lovely soup that uses coconut milk instead of cream: http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/001525.html
- Sweet potatoes are also paleo and diabetic approved, so long as the recipe includes no sugar or dairy. There are lots of great vegan sweet potato recipes that use almond milk or coconut milk in place of dairy. (can be made the day before)

Add a big salad and one additional vegetable (even simple green beans with toasted almond slices) and your paleo-diabetics are all set. If I were you, I'd make the paleo folk bring their own dessert rather than going to the trouble to figure out how to accommodate them.
For the diabetic, dessert depends on how strict he or she is. My mother is a diabetic but will eat a small slice of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. I find that if a recipe has lots of spices, I can cut the sugar by almost half with no complaints: http://www.101cookbooks.com/archives/spicekissed-pumpkin-pie-recipe.html
If that doesn't work, try looking for "low carb pumpkin flan"
After you figure out your paleo menu, you can add on a few grain dishes for the vegetarians and everyone else....maybe one pot kale and quinoa pilaf http://food52.com/recipes/2434-one-pot-kale-and-quinoa-pilaf,
and a rich, vegetarian stuffing: http://food52.com/recipes/1452-what-we-call-stuffing-challah-mushroom-and-celery

If I were you, I'd plan to make the turkey, the soup, the mashed sweet potatoes, maybe a pie or two because everything except the turkey can be prepared in advance. Then you can assign people to bring salads, vegetarian side dishes, and additional desserts according to whatever your tradition is.

This is a great turkey recipe: http://food52.com/recipes/15069-russ-parsons-dry-brined-turkey-a-k-a-the-judy-bird

We will help! But first I want to admire your can-do attitude and admirable bravery running a half marathon AND hosting Thanksgiving! Here's a side dish that can be made ahead and reheated and it should work for vegetarians. http://food52.com/recipes/7840-crispy-delicata-rings-with-currant-fennel-apple-relish