How much bourbon per pound of child will let me watch football in peace

3oz per pound does the job. You're welcome!

I think it depends on the tolerance level. And really, age is a much better measurement. For you, I'd say a minimum of half a shot per year, on the rocks. For them, I'd go with warm milk with a quarter teaspoon of vanilla per year. Much safer and just as effective.

Enough to be effective, not enough so that the mother or the pediatrician notices.

Roger: point of clarification: Is the bourbon for the children or for you? Either one could do the trick, but please consult your pediatrician about proper dosing.