Table for One
A Dish for When You Don’t Want to Be Alone on Thanksgiving
On cornbread stuffing and loneliness.
Photo by Eric Kim
On our new weekly podcast, two friends separated by the Atlantic take questions and compare notes on everything from charcuterie trends to scone etiquette.
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24 Comments
Jenny
January 8, 2019
First I found your magic spice chicken thighs recipe and began making it obsessively (it's so good!), and then I realized what a lovely, thoughtful writer you are, and now I look for your byline and read everything you write here. Thank you especially for this one, about loneliness and love and picking a fight when you need to.
Eric K.
November 19, 2019
Jenny, I'm late to your comment—but appropriately, a year later, I've found my way back. Thanks for your kind words. Made my night.
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Janice
November 22, 2018
Happy Lonesgiving Eric, thank you for writing such beautiful pieces that make me weep. You are absolutely right about Friendsgiving being second place, and I wish you every happiness because you deserve it, we all do. Love & light ❤️
Jaime S.
November 21, 2018
Eric this is such a beautiful piece! I had been contemplating similar thoughts about thanksgiving as i wrote a short story based on a particularly chaotic Friendsgiving i had a couple of years back. I wish you could have the thanksgiving you deserve with all your family, friends, and Scott, but i hope whatever you get up to tomorrow fun and makes u feel warm inside. ♥️
Eric K.
November 21, 2018
Jaime, thank you so much for the words and well wishes. Friendsgivings are hard because, no matter what, they always feel 2nd place somehow, right?
Plan to watch lots of movies tomorrow. x
Plan to watch lots of movies tomorrow. x
CameronM5
November 20, 2018
Beautifully sad. 🥺 I take it for granted being near my family for every Thanksgiving so even during those lovesick moments I’ve had a calm in the storm. That’s what holidays are for me. Except New Years, for years I’ve liked to spend it alone and even fall asleep before the ball drops.
Whiteantlers
November 20, 2018
Oh Eric. That made me cry. My wife killed herself 10 years ago this summer. We were together for 20 years and met before the internet. Being old, queer and suddenly single was surreal to say the least. For the most part, these last 10 years have been good. I am getting to know myself, finally accepting and embracing my introverted nature and enjoying the life of a celibate queerdo.
My sibling and I are estranged because I am gay and she is religiously opposed to that. I miss her as I have no other living family. You know what? We are force fed from an early age that being in couples/families/tribes are the only places where people are really happy. I have learned it isn't true.
Sure, this Thursday I will wish I was in a warm, noisy dining room with lots of near and dear ones but I will also be happy to be drinking eggnog for breakfast with no censure, padding around in pajamas and frizzy, unrestrained hair, listening to whatever music appeals and indulging myself in ways that all those folks coming together or being thrown together for not so great food might envy. I hate turkey. My meal will be a root veggie heavy beef stew, long simmered on Wednesday night.
Will I be sad? Sure, a bit and briefly but I am not going to succumb to Norman Rockwellitis on 11/22. The cats and I will raise a tawny port to you and your dog and all the other singletons. There is no especially green grass on either side. We are all okay just as we are, where we are and who we are.
Thank you for being vulnerable and writing a touching piece.
My sibling and I are estranged because I am gay and she is religiously opposed to that. I miss her as I have no other living family. You know what? We are force fed from an early age that being in couples/families/tribes are the only places where people are really happy. I have learned it isn't true.
Sure, this Thursday I will wish I was in a warm, noisy dining room with lots of near and dear ones but I will also be happy to be drinking eggnog for breakfast with no censure, padding around in pajamas and frizzy, unrestrained hair, listening to whatever music appeals and indulging myself in ways that all those folks coming together or being thrown together for not so great food might envy. I hate turkey. My meal will be a root veggie heavy beef stew, long simmered on Wednesday night.
Will I be sad? Sure, a bit and briefly but I am not going to succumb to Norman Rockwellitis on 11/22. The cats and I will raise a tawny port to you and your dog and all the other singletons. There is no especially green grass on either side. We are all okay just as we are, where we are and who we are.
Thank you for being vulnerable and writing a touching piece.
Eric K.
November 21, 2018
Whiteantlers, thank you for sharing your story and for writing me such a beautiful comment. I too will raise a glass to you on Thursday, and leave you with this quote from Albert Einstein (which I read on Instagram or some such): "I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity."
Eric K.
November 21, 2018
Whiteantlers, thank you for sharing your story and for writing me such a beautiful comment. It reminds me of this quote from Albert Einstein: "I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity."
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