While you can cut and cook vegetables (people do it with beets, eggplant, butternut squash, mushrooms, cabbage, and, yes, cauliflower) in a certain way and call them steak, I don't think—if it were up to the vegetables—they'd answer to that name.
Vegetables are not steaks, and it does a disservice to hold them to those standards. We like vegetables, in part, because they are not steaks—not in spite of it.
But that doesn't mean there aren't vegetarian dishes worthy of the same sort of pomp and circumstance that a sirloin elicits. This vegetarian menu would be right at home in the plush banquette of a steakhouse—or, this Valentine's Day, at the tableclothed card table in your kitchen.
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So here you have it: a menu worthy of a steakhouse, served in a non-steakhouse, without any steak (vegetable or otherwise):
A (former) student of English, a lover of raisins, a user of comma splices. My spirit animal is an eggplant. I'm probably the person who picked all of the cookie dough out of the cookie dough ice cream. For that, I'm sorry.