Last Saturday, an anonymous man attempting to throw a party for some of his friends unwittingly become a Twitter celebrity when he showed up at the grocery store to return two pounds of butternut squash that he had mistaken for cheddar cheese.
The man’s difficult journey to right a wrong was overhead and documented for posterity by James Dator, a writer at SBNation. Per Dator’s account, the man’s defenses included disputing that the beguiling butternut squash was properly labeled (it was) and insisting that the store provide him with two pounds of freshly-cubed cheddar from the deli section, which is where he probably should have tried to find cubed cheese in the first place.
The whole tale of mistaken identity unfolds below:
A very confused man is attempting to return his open diced butternut squash because he thought it was a giant box of cubed cheese.— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
I can't believe this. They're saying he can't because it's open. He's saying it wasn't clearly labeled.— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
There's a GIANT label that says butternut squash— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
They've agreed to refund his money. Now he's demanding they honor 2 pounds of cubed cheese for $2.97 as if it was priced like squash— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
"Sir we don't have 2 pound bags of cubed cheese"— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
"I have guests waiting!"
He wants them to give him two pounds of block cheese and have the deli counter slice it into cubes for him— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
Oh god an employee trying to be helpful half heard the conversation and retrieved a whole butternut squash and it's a lot worse now— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
"I DON'T WANT RABBIT FOOD I JUST NEED SOME GOTDANG CHEESE!!!"— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
He's leaving without the cheese and took the squash with him.— James Dator (@James_Dator) July 22, 2017
Sir, I believe we have something that you might find useful:
On Twitter, employees and customers from all areas of retail bonded—not unlike the day we all found out about “spaghetto,” a word I will never, ever say out loud—and shared their own stories from the returns counter.
I've been in retail management for nearly 12 years, this story gave me an intense physical reaction, similar to having a near miss in a car.— US v. Shark Fins 🌹 (@taddsche) July 24, 2017
when i was on vacation 2 years ago i did the same thing pic.twitter.com/gSrJiXQTrY— Will ϟ (@StormWill_) July 25, 2017
Working cust service i had a lady try to return bottles of wine saying theyre bad. Not thinking we would open. She had replaced with water.— john (@Won_Man_Wonder) July 24, 2017
I was returning at item to Costco and a woman in front of me was returning 3 week old strawberries because they were "rotten". She got her $— Common Sense Czar (@CommonSenseCzar) July 24, 2017
I've seen plenty of people return a box that came with 20 apples but they bring back 2 saying "they were no good"— Arash (آرش) Yazz (@ArashYazz) July 24, 2017
Have you ever been duped in a case of mistaken food identity, or worked the register when a customer tried to return something in less-than-perfect condition? Let me know in the comments.