There Once Was a Man Who Thought Squash Was Cheese

July 27, 2017

Last Saturday, an anonymous man attempting to throw a party for some of his friends unwittingly become a Twitter celebrity when he showed up at the grocery store to return two pounds of butternut squash that he had mistaken for cheddar cheese.

The man’s difficult journey to right a wrong was overhead and documented for posterity by James Dator, a writer at SBNation. Per Dator’s account, the man’s defenses included disputing that the beguiling butternut squash was properly labeled (it was) and insisting that the store provide him with two pounds of freshly-cubed cheddar from the deli section, which is where he probably should have tried to find cubed cheese in the first place.

The whole tale of mistaken identity unfolds below:

Sir, I believe we have something that you might find useful:

On Twitter, employees and customers from all areas of retail bonded—not unlike the day we all found out about “spaghetto,” a word I will never, ever say out loud—and shared their own stories from the returns counter.

Have you ever been duped in a case of mistaken food identity, or worked the register when a customer tried to return something in less-than-perfect condition? Let me know in the comments.

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Karen Lo

Written by: Karen Lo

lunch lady


HalfPint July 27, 2017
My first job was at Baskin Robbins. A woman tried to return an ice cream cake because it tasted "off", though she and the family didn't notice this until half of the cake was consumed. Yep, she tried to return half a cake.
Sheila July 27, 2017
Wel its not food but i payed $19.00 for case for my tablet when it did not fit i took it back they only want to give me $9.00 its still in box never used same as day i gave them my hard earnd money. Unbelevable wallmart wants to steal my $10.00 they make so much money wow