Home Alone for Christmas? You're Not the Only One

Table for One is a column by Senior Editor Eric Kim, who loves cooking for himself—and only himself—and seeks to celebrate the beauty of solitude in its many forms.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Cooking for one is on the rise. Especially at this time of year.

We can make our own causal links about human behavior from winter to spring, but one thing I’ve discovered at the Table for One desk is that Google searches for the keyterm “dinner for one” spike in December. As the data shows, that number wanes a bit in January, and then dips down come February—until December rolls around all over again.

This happens every year.

I have a theory: In the northern hemisphere, it’s coldest in December, which means fewer people are leaving their homes and more are confining themselves from the outside world. If Census data shows us that every year, more and more people are legally single and, on top of that, are living and dining alone, then it could make sense that these same individuals are cooking for themselves and seeking out single-serving recipes in the winter.

Another (more likely) theory is that people are just searching for the 18-minute comedy sketch, Dinner for One, which is the most re-aired television program ever. Those of us in the United States might not recognize the sketch, but it’s usually shown on New Year’s Eve in countries like Germany, Denmark, Sweden, South Africa, and Australia.

Another theory yet: Could it be, maybe, that people are actually spending the season by themselves?

To find out, I asked friends, colleagues, and readers a question:

Then, I asked a follow-up question: How did that make you feel? The flurry of responses I got was simultaneously funny, surprising, and heartbreaking.

Many viewed their home-alone holiday positively.

• "Independent."
• "Determined. Proud."
• "Contemplative, peaceful, quiet."
• "Cleansed, free from the constraints of society."
• "A little bittersweet, but also stronger in myself."
• "Sad, but in a sweet way. I’ve always appreciated the beauty in sentimental-sad situations."
• "I like to spend New Year’s Eve alone (I don’t know if you count that). Much more gratifying than a party."
• "Cooked myself a feast and binge-watched TV. Empowering and healing."
• "Spent 12 hours working a shift as a nurse. Being with work family is good!"
• "Relieved."

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Others had a less clarifying experience.

• "Saudade."
• "Empty, actually."
• "Scared and unloved."
• "Absolutely okay and horrible at the same time."
• "Sometimes perfect, sometimes overwhelmingly depressing."
• "Confusingly (terrifyingly? sadly?) content."
• "Dreadful. Except one in N.Y.C. with my dog. I made a giant roast just for me."
• "Weird. I had just gotten divorced and didn’t feel like seeing anyone. But the solitude made me panic a bit."
• "I was so anxious and isolated. Didn’t realize how you really get cut off from everyone."
• "I skipped altogether one year while nursing a broken heart."
• "Jealous. (Of the people who take their living family for granted.)"

That’s the way the cookie crumbles, for some.

• "Just a normal day if I’m alone."
• "Nothing much; that’s life."

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And those were just the highlights. I received hundreds.

After reading these messages, I learned that there were more people out there than I realized who spend their holidays alone—regularly, in fact. But I also learned that many of these individuals feel a conflicting internal struggle between solitude (peace with oneself) and loneliness (sadness because one is alone).

I found myself drawn, in particular, to the answers in the second bucket, especially the one individual who simply wrote "Saudade." The Portuguese and Galician word "has many definitions, including a melancholy nostalgia for something that perhaps has not even happened," writes Jasmine Garsd for NPR. "It often carries an assurance that this thing you feel nostalgic for will never happen again. My favorite definition of saudade is by Portuguese writer Manuel de Melo: 'a pleasure you suffer, an ailment you enjoy.'"

Daniel Bagnall, an executive chef at Public Records in Brooklyn, New York, reached out to me on Instagram when he saw my poll. Last year, due to his demanding work schedule, he spent the holidays alone and had mixed feelings about it.

“I ordered Chinese takeout, all the fixings,” he told me. “Sweet and sour chicken, vegetable lo mein, hot and sour soup, dumplings, rice, and probably more that I can’t remember. I watched Love Actually, followed by any random Christmas movie I could find online, and fell asleep to blinking Christmas lights and Michael Bublé. I was lonely, but I also felt free. It made me feel like I could do anything if I could survive the holidays alone.”

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Others, like software engineer Micki Balder, don’t mind riding solo for Christmas and see it as a more relaxing alternative to the hubbub and stress of holiday travel. “I like spending the day cooking a feast for myself,” she says, “and then usually I’ll curl up on the couch with whiskey and watch some movies. I find that I love that for Christmas Day. But for some reason on Christmas Eve I find it to be a little more lonesome.”

Even cookbook author Klancy Miller, who wrote Cooking Solo in 2016, agrees that being alone for Christmas can be a mixed bag. “It would make me sad to be alone for Christmas because I associate the holidays with family and friends,” she tells me. “I also think the holidays can be hard for people for that exact reason if a person is dealing with loss or family discord.

“That said, I did spend one New Year’s Eve alone on purpose and it was glorious. I had just moved back to the city and was living in the East Village. I made a pizza from one of Alice Waters’ cookbooks. Plus a big salad. I bought my favorite champagne and listened to great music. After eating, I walked around the block with my suitcase because my roommate at the time told me it was good luck for travel in the coming year.”

As for the spike in searches for solo dinners in December, Miller concurs with my first theory. “I think of winter as hibernation time, and ideal for staying indoors more and cooking food.”

It makes sense to want to cook for yourself in the winter, especially during the holidays when there’s time to spread out and enjoy the activity. It’s important to note that cooking for one isn’t just about feeding yourself; it’s about finding comfort in the ritual, as well. Not least if you’re alone for Christmas, and in need of a simple but celebratory expression of your selfhood—in the form of, say, dinner.

Pizza Mussels

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Ingredients

2	tablespoons unsalted butter
1/2	cup finely chopped onions
2	tablespoons tomato paste
1	teaspoon dried oregano
1/4	cup sherry or dry vermouth
1	tablespoon sour cream
	Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1	pound mussels, scrubbed and debearded
1	humongous hunk of crusty bread

2	tablespoons unsalted butter
1/2	cup finely chopped onions
2	tablespoons tomato paste
1	teaspoon dried oregano
1/4	cup sherry or dry vermouth

1	tablespoon sour cream
	Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1	pound mussels, scrubbed and debearded
1	humongous hunk of crusty bread

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