Too Many Cooks: Valentine's Edition

February  8, 2013

You'll be hearing from the staff at FOOD52 every week in Too Many Cooks, our group column in which we pool our answers to questions about food, cooking, life, and more.


Store windows are full of pink and red, and conversation hearts (Fax Me!) are still, apparently, in production. There's no denying that the world is in full-on Valentine's mode. As we plan for this year's festivities, we're reminiscing on Valentines past, from heart-warming to hilarious.

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This week, we polled our team for their most amusing and disastrous V-Day stories. Most of the staff is still holding out on us, which leads us to believe that they are hiding some pretty epic anecdotes. So we'll need you to share yours in the comments section, too. We're all friends here -- don't be afraid to share your best stories. Or your worst.

Lauren: It was early high school and my girlfriend and I decided to make fake valentines for each other from "mystery men".  Seemed like a brilliant idea until our handwriting was recognized. 

Marian: One time a newly acquired boyfriend took me to a batting cage because he knew I had never been to one and thought it would be a fun date. I started hyperventilating because failing at sports in public stresses me out. We went to a steakhouse instead. I've still never been to a batting cage.

Brette: The time I ate an entire pan of Oreo brownies all by myself.

Kristen: Don't share a bottle of wine with your date before dinner, and then another at dinner. Just don't. There will be tears.

Kenzi: You know that Hallmark, plastically sentimental scenario where someone leaves a trail of something (rose petals, ribbons, etc.) that you're supposed to follow, presumably to have a surprise at the other end? Yeah. Don't do that. ESPECIALLY when there's no food involved -- and the thick steaks and/or dark chocolate that would have made this ridiculous situation tolerable are replaced by stuffed animals. Like, bears with bows.

Karl: One time in high school I made ramen on Valentine's day.


Tell us: what's your best bad Valentine's Day story?

Make some valentines for your loved ones, your friends, or yourself:

truff  cook

Earl Grey Truffles

Persimmon Tart

Magical Cookies

See what other Food52 readers are saying.

  • Marc Osten - Marc's Culinary Compass
    Marc Osten - Marc's Culinary Compass
  • walkie74
  • Anna Hezel
    Anna Hezel
  • arcane54
  • fiveandspice
Marian Bull

Written by: Marian Bull



Marc O. February 14, 2013
Not sure I have a 'worst' but there is simply too much chocolate and too many heart candies one man can take. So my reply is lemons, lemons, lemons. What does Adam and Eve have to do with it? Find out at:
walkie74 February 11, 2013
That would be the year my husband wished me a Happy Valentine's Day. That's it. Nothing else. No hug, no poem, no nothing. I was so upset I texted his best female friend and her husband; "He didn't get me *anything*! What did I do wrong?" They promptly called him and took turns scolding him. Now, if he has no idea what to give me, he'll warn me waaaaay ahead of time.
Anna H. February 9, 2013
Brette, that is genius.
arcane54 February 8, 2013
I menat NOW "wasband" as in no longer married (to me at least).
arcane54 February 8, 2013
My husband (no wasband) cooked two perfect steaks. placed them on our coffee table for a romantic valentine's movie night and got up to answer the phone. My wonderful 80# dog just could not help himself and devoured an entire steak before we could stop him. Sharing's good, even with the dog!
fiveandspice February 8, 2013
I agree with Kenzi! The Valentine's Days that involve roses and baby's breath and teddy bears are the WORST and signal doom, for sure. Of course, there was one Valentine's day years ago when I had a long distance boyfriend who had the men's acapella group from his college call me and serenade me. Problem was, he'd chosen the song that had heralded the end of three previous relationships (it's my song of doom - thankfully my husband knows!). We didn't last too long after that, though whether it was (or ever was) really the fault of the song remains to be scientifically proven.
Kristen M. February 8, 2013
Please please tell us the song!
fiveandspice February 8, 2013
"For the Longest Time" by Billy Joel. Go figure, right?!
Kristen M. February 9, 2013
Kenzi W. February 9, 2013
So amazing. You win.
Brette W. February 9, 2013
Elizabeth R. February 8, 2013
A couple of years ago when I was still in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend, he ordered some roses to be delivered to my house. Apparently there was some mix-up either from the florist or the delivery guy because when I opened the card, it said "To a loving mother..." :/ It was bewilderingly hilarious, but the flowers were pretty and it's really the thought that counts haha!
Marian B. February 8, 2013
Hilarious! I want to hear from the mother that received a romantic note from her child.
hardlikearmour February 8, 2013
I was in high school with very little money to spend on Valentine's day, so I made a pan of chocolate chip bar cookies (I suppose you could call it a pan of blondies), and cut out a giant heart from it for my boyfriend. He got me a necklace, and was upset that I'd not spent much on his gift. I should've realized the relationship was doomed at that moment.
Marian B. February 8, 2013
Ouch. I would be totally psyched about a heart-shaped blondie.
drbabs February 8, 2013
Oh, hla, I bet he's kicking himself now.
hardlikearmour February 8, 2013
Nah! We weren't right for each other in more ways than one. I think it was a good learning experience for both of us.