I'm trying to can fermented cabbage and worried I might poison myself...
Are you channeling your best self with this comment? (If you're not sure, check out our Code of Conduct.)
If you only have a small amount of cabbage, you could put it in sterilized jars, store it in the refrigerator, and plan on eating it within a couple weeks. But actual home canning really isn't something where you should be looking for "easy." There are standard procedures, and for safety's sake it's best to follow them to the letter.
If you haven't canned before, there are lots of print and online resources for home canners that guide you through the process. Here is a useful short online primer:
Fermented cabbage is a high-acid food, so you can use the boiling-water canning method. Take care to properly clean and sterilize your jars and lids, and don't stint on the processing time. If a jar doesn't seal, put it in the refrigerator rather than storing it at room temperature.
Don't fear for your digits.
How to Cut a Watermelon
Joanna Gaines' Biscuits
The Word is Out
19 Memorial Day Recipes
A Better Way to Travel