A stately knob of ginger, white and light brown sugar, seltzer, vanilla ice cream (the good stuff). Not pictured: vanilla extract. We do what we want.

Somebody knows they're about 15 minutes away from a ginger ale float.

A 1/2 cup of brown sugar, resolutely packed.

We peel ginger with a spoon, like so.

Like a defeated heap of dominoes.

Begin countdown to ginger syrup.

15 minutes later, it looks murky yet inviting.

Thanks for your service, ginger.

Sticky amber syrup with a whole lot of ginger kick.

And that's how you make ginger ale! Naturally, Amanda uses her new pet SodaStream.

Such promise.

Ooh.

Ahh.

Crags of foam.

Drink up.

Epilogue: Amanda gets a taste.

And is suddenly five again.

It's Christmastime! Just kidding. It's 100 degrees out. Good time to bust these out: peppermint extract, dark chocolate, brown sugar, cocoa powder, milk, egg, cream, sugar, salt, a starlight mint, and a Nabisco's Famous Chocolate Wafer.

These mints are doomed. Doomed, I say!

Amanda gets aggressive. The recipe calls for these mints to be chopped, but that wouldn't be nearly as much fun (or therapeutic), would it?

Peppermint debris.

Might as well bash up those chocolate cookies now too.

Ice cream fixins, and the recipe for guidance. Ironic that you have to cook stuff to make ice cream, but it's worth it.

We fell in love with this pinky golden tone the milk took on as the starlight mints dissolved.

As the minty milk heats, next door it's time to start beating egg yolks, sugar and salt till they're "very thick, pale and glossy," says Sydney.

Like this!

Now we temper. A little hot milk gets whisked into the eggs to heat them gently ...

... then the warmed eggs are whisked back into the hot milk. That's how you temper!

Don't get cocky! If this gets up to a boil, it will curdle and you'll have to start over. Like we did.

As the thick and creamy ice cream base sits cooling in its ice water bath, a dose of peppermint extract gets added.

Nice and thick and no scrambled bits! Into the machine it goes.

You're done churning when it looks (and tastes) like soft serve. Now you fold in those beaten up chocolate cookie bits, transfer to a new container and freeze through.

Hot fudge time!

Butter, cream, white and brown sugars, and corn syrup bubble away while cocoa powder awaits its cue.

Final touch: some good dark chocolate.

All whisked together, it's smooth and sinister and ready to pounce on some peppermint ice cream.

Time to get dressed.

We don't throw the term 'food porn' around here very often, but come on.

Stand back, kids.

The grown-ups get first dibs.

Dive in!